Your Circumstances Are NOT Your Limitations // Practical Ways to Follow Your Dreams

This is a post I've wanted to write ever since I started my blog, because it's something I'm passionate about. Now seems like the perfect time to share that part of my heart with you.

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It's about an idea; the idea that you are not boxed in, and your potential in life is not squashed by your current circumstances.

You may be feeling as though you can't make your next step towards your dream because the door seems barred shut and you don't have all the opportunities that so many other people seem to have. I know what that feels like, believe me, and I know how hard it is. But I learnt something during my teen years that totally changed my perspective on everything.

For quite a long time, I was happy being complacent. I would read some books, avidly read blogs, watch movies, play with my dolls, colour in and listen to story casettes, and dream my little dreams.

I didn't really know who I was, or what I wanted for myself. I didn't have any true dreams on my heart.

Then, when I was around thirteen years of age, and was the most enthusiastic blog-reading girl that I've ever been, I became disastrously upset and frustrated. Reading about so many other people's lives, it placed a seed in my heart that I'd never truly battled with before; part of it was jealousy, but most of it was discontentment. It grew into constant restlessness and opened my eyes to how exactly I was spending my time and using my life. Almost all my spare time was consumed reading blogs or books, and not truly living.

I had no idea why I was so unhappy; I just was. And as, as I got older, I began to realize more and more about who I was. I began to realize what brought me joy, what I loved spending my time on, and how different I truly was to my other siblings and their own unique tastes.

And I'm not sure what it was, exactly, but I began to try things. Anything. Everything.

I decided it was not the time to lazily loiter around, but to get up and get stuff done. It was as if my zest and zeal for life just exploded and I was charging around on new-found enthusiasm and motivation. I began to actually focus on my school and enjoy it; I liked the challenge. I would do double, I would take on extra subjects, and ask to do topics that interested me.

I experimented with baking, I learnt songs on the piano grades above me just to prove I could play them, I read books that were thicker than most adults I knew read, I picked up the guitar and the violin (and put them down again a year or two later, but hush, we won't speak of that, haha), I found tutorials online of things I was interested and followed them; I wrote poetry, stories, and began writing plays. I dabbled in everything, and I excelled at nothing.

But you know, that was okay, because I was discovering who I was. And I learnt a lot during that time.

One thing I learnt was that by far my biggest passion was music and musical theatre. (Literature did come in as a close second, though.)

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I decided that was something I wanted to pursue in a bigger way.

I dreamed of performing live on stage with a cast, and having an audience clap for my breathtaking performance, and imagined seeing my family sitting in the front row tearily cheering me on. It was my favourite dream, and I spent so many hours happily engrossed in it. (That's where you could catch my brain wandering during those boring math classes.)

I found people online who'd grown up doing theatre, had a career all ahead of them; even home schooled girls who managed to get into their community theatre. But me? I couldn't. There were many reasons why. For one thing, no one else in my family was interested in musical theatre and no one could spare the time to drive me in to rehearsals and auditions. I had no experience so the chance of me getting a role was extremely low. And I knew no one else who was in the industry or even enjoyed it as a hobby; literally no one.

Have you ever been in that boat? When you have a fire inside of you for something, but it's as if your circumstances - your life - were not at all created to fit it? Like you're living the wrong person's life? I wondered if God had accidentally mixed me up with another girl - oh Lord, are you SURE this is where I'm meant to be?? Because I'm pretty sure that the pictures I saw online look JUST like where I think I should be!

You were NOT made to simply live your life half-heartedly; gazing at someone else's life and wishing yours away. God created you and your life in a unique way that no one else has. I know that seems cliche, but you have to believe it to live it. And even if you have to wrestle with that every day, that's okay. Because you can fight on. Shuffle forwards, trip over, fall backwards, then get back up and push onwards. Because all the bruises and scars and cuts on your body from fighting are worth a hundred lives lived in unhappiness and regret. Don't let your circumstances define you; don't let the lies tell you how to live your life.

It's a real feeling. I know it too well. But there are ways to fight it, and I beg you, please fight it.

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Your circumstances are NOT your limitations. And don't ever believe that they are, because God can use the lowliest of man to bring about the highest praise and glory. He can use whatever circumstance you are in to bring about the best result possible. He doesn't make mistakes, He only makes miracles. You are a miracle and your life is a living testimony of God.
So how, you are wondering, does this have anything to do with how to ACTUALLY follow your dreams when you feel as though you can't do anything to get where you want to be?
I'm getting to it! ;)

Thinking back to when I was in that hopeless circumstance, feeling as though I had no way to get into musical theatre while simultaneously believing I wouldn't have truly lived until I had experienced it for myself... the stubborn, determined part of me rose up and decided I wouldn't just sit there and watch my dreams pass by. I was going to fight.

I didn't have the money to pay for singing lessons, but that didn't stop me from singing. Just ask my family, I would literally sing every single day. While I was cleaning, while I was in the shower, while I was going for a walk - you couldn't stop me if you tried. And admittedly, I was not good at it (at ALL) to begin with. I was almost tone-deaf at ten years of age. But I just loved to sing! So I did. I listened to endless amounts of music (always, always lyrical) and copied the singers. I fiddled around. For years, I experimented with my voice and played with different techniques (without knowing what I was doing). I watched YouTube tutorials and singing lessons (Evynne Hollens' has the best ones I've come across, by the way!) and never stopped singing.

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When it came to dancing, again, I couldn't afford lessons, so I'd watch online dance tutorials and learn the basic steps to different styles of dance. I'd go until I was puffing and my face was as red as a beet. Then I realized, hey, if performers had to sing AND dance for around two hours every night, I'd better get fit! So I began working out five days a week, doing cardio, HIIT, strength and pilates. It took me awhile to get into my groove, but once I figured out what I was doing (Fitness Blender to the rescue), I gained a lot of muscle and became three times more fit than I'd ever been. I also decided that it was a good idea to be flexible, because a lot of theatre dances required flexibility, so I began to do yoga and stretching, to work on my flexibility. Yeah, still working on that one.

When it came to actual theatre and acting, I decided to tackle it myself. So I wrote a small play with my little sister to perform for my little brother. We knew he'd love it and clap as if we were Tony-award winning performers, so the cheering was already guaranteed. (I will still never forget how excited his face looked at the end of our first scene, when he squealed to Mummy, "This is going to be SO good!!")

I lost count of how many plays I wrote after that (eventually adding my little brother to the cast, who turned out to be the most naturally talented performer I've come across yet), and performing them in front of my parents and older siblings. I learnt what worked well in a play, what didn't, what jokes made people laugh and what tended to fall flat. I tried my hand at making posters, using props, and working on better costumes. I began re-writing lyrics to songs and adding them into our plays, to turn them into musicals.

This carried on for years, and gradually my skills grew better and more fine-tuned. I began writing larger plays that lasted an hour or more, and even performed them for extended family members.

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When I was earning money from my cafe job, I decided it was finally time to have singing lessons. I was blessed to find a singing teacher who was exactly what I was looking for, and a year later have already gained so much confidence and knowledge. I still have a long way to go with my vocal performance, but I do believe I have already come such a long way.

This past year I decided I would pay for dance lessons, and decided on tap. The group of ladies were all a good many years older than me (comprised of mostly "dance mums"), but I didn't mind. I was there to learn how to dance and to move forward in pursuing musical theatre.

I began telling friends about my plays (many years after I'd started doing them) and was amazed at how much support I got from others. Whenever people ask what my favourite things to do are now, musical theatre is one of the first things that comes out of my mouth.

So, I obviously have to mention that at this stage, no, I have still not had the opportunity to be involved in an actual fully-fledged production. And no, I haven't even had the experience of an audition yet, either. But one thing at a time, friends. 2020 was, in my head, going to be the year when I could finally fling myself into the theatre world and take part in the dream that's been on my heart for years. I'd decided that if I couldn't get a part in a production, I would volunteer for backstage work instead. I'd do lighting, sound, costume, props, ticket sales, cleaning - anything! I just wanted to have a taste, show my face and get a feel of what the drama world is actually like.

I have to confess how incredibly disheartened and frustrated I was to realize that, with COVID-19, there is the great probability and almost surety that no production in my community theatre will be happening this year, and I'll have to wait another year to try. At first, I was angry, and couldn't believe that after waiting seven years, I'd have to wait one more. But now, though still saddened, I've come to realize it matters very little.

Why?

You see, the dream hasn't been one of those one-summer-going-through-a-phase-fleeting-idea dreams... it's lasted with me for a long time, and I believe it's there for a reason. And I also believe that if God has placed that in my heart, then there is a reason for it being my dream... and someday, it will happen. So I have to trust and believe that the one Who placed it in my heart, will also help to bring it about, in His perfect timing.

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Musical theatre is my dream, but I know it's not everyone's. What is yours? Can you relate to feeling trapped and limited by your circumstances?

I realize all my examples here were strictly in the theatre world, but the motives and actions can apply to any dream. If it has been on your heart, then why not start right now, with where you're at? You can read, you can immerse yourself with knowledge; you can trial and experiment and fail and succeed; you can use whatever is at your fingertips to pursue that which is pounding in your chest and wrapping itself through your thoughts.

Often times, dreams are seasonal things, but if it's your dream now, then maybe it's also your season. Pursue God, delight in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ask Him to reveal to you how your dream can glorify and serve Him, how you can be a light to others with the light of passion burning bright in your eyes.

I truly believe, friends, that a dream is precious; and if we have courage and determination, if we're willing to work for it and cry over it and struggle through it, and if we truly seek God's heart on it and pray into it, then someday, that dream will be ours.

I hope that you can step out in faith, and remember that you are not limited by your circumstances, that God's plan for you has purpose, and the dream you have is for a reason. That in pursuing the dream He has given you, you will learn more about the wonder and majesty of the God Who creates and gifts those dreams to every human being on earth, including you and me.