How Doing Hard Things Changed My Life

I'll admit, this post has been in my drafts ever since I started my blog. So today I decided it was time to change that. 

I heard the name of the book "Do Hard Things: a Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations" mentioned a few times over the years, and was very curious to discover the story behind it. About 3 years ago, I finally got my hands on a copy, and I believe I finished it in about two days. (Which is very fast for me, ok?) It was a fantastic book, and I highly recommend it to anyone - especially teenagers - but I'm not actually here to give a review; rather, I'm here to show you how that book affected me, and how I can see the results of it in my life.

So let's take it back a bit. 

Around age twelve or so, I was not a highly motivated young person. Sure, I was motivated to read Charles Dickens, and practice the piano maybe once a fortnight, but that was about it. School was mostly a painful process and my 'hobbies' were very limited. 

Then one day, and I can't even tell you why, I decided to change that. It could have been a conversation I'd had with someone, it could have been the inspiration I gained from reading other people's blogs, or maybe it was even a prompting from the Holy Spirit, but at any rate, I decided I was not going to watch my life go by and let it go to waste.

I believe I was about fourteen when I decided to make the most of the time I had. Languages, learning extra in school, baking, cooking, photography, videography, plays and play writing, talking to older people, reading, writing, researching, trying new things, exercising, seizing every opportunity, organizing events, taking on responsibilities etc...

You could definitely say I'm a bit of an over-achiever, and perhaps I did get a bit excited. ;) But my point is, we get to choose how we spend today. There is nothing stopping you from learning more, from growing and living your life to the fullest extent. We can get paralyzed by the disappointment of our circumstances, the lack of opportunities we hoped for, the staleness of the everyday. Or we can take the fire and restlessness deep within our souls and make something out of it. 

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I don't want to use this as a "look at me, aren't I amazing?" and nor do I want the extent of this post to simply advocate hobbies. I want people - especially teenagers, who are unhappy about where they are in life right now - to see this as hope and inspiration. Pray for wisdom, pray for patience, pray for diligence. Dare to be brave, to dream bigger, to do the unknown, and do it scared.

I would much rather look back on my life with no regrets, and have extra skills, many interests, an added level of knowledge, maturity, independence and preparation for the future, than have little to show. Replacing idleness or laziness with motivation and drive, we can do amazing things. It is not going to be easy, but we can do hard things. We can do great things.

What did this drive get me? Well, I completed grade 11 and 12 in 1.5 years, while also working at a café two days a week, and completing two certificates in Business. This was from the compilation of doing twice the amount of schoolwork every day from the age of 14 onwards, instead of puttering along at a comfortable pace. I learnt French, studied extra Latin and Italian, and began creating videos and working on editing. I began a fitness journey, a habit which has helped me stay healthy and fit for the past 7 years. I was cooking dinner for my family of 8 by age 10 (which, to be fair, was from my mother's urging and not my own, but I grew to enjoy it), so that by the age of 22, I have no concern about being given a recipe or a challenge in the kitchen. 

I earnt enough money while completing school that I could buy my own car outright a year after I graduated. I was qualified to take on a receptionist position and later be offered the position of marketing coordinator because I had done blogging, website work and videography during my school years. I had decided I would take singing and dance lessons once I could afford to pay for it, and began taking private vocal lessons later on. Those lessons then helped me to pursue my passion of singing and musical theatre, assisted by my perseverance of practicing daily and being self-disciplined. I took dance classes once I could afford them, and continued teaching myself at home (YouTube is great, guys) how to tap dance, until I am now able to help my teacher at tap class demonstrate our choreography. I knew I wanted to pursue theatre some day, so I began writing my own plays, reading other play scripts for guidance, and directed and performed in them with my siblings for family members. Without that, I would never have gotten cast as the title role in "Anne of Green Gables" after my first ever audition (with no "formal" experience). (And just putting it out there, my director told me to add the plays I had written and performed in to my theatre experience resume, because he said that totally counted.)

That is just one example from my life. It will look completely different from person to person. But I want the take-away to be this: the drive to upskill will only help you in whatever you pursue later on in life. The motivation to learn as much as possible will give you information and knowledge to be able to be a part of any conversation without feeling out of depth, provide more ideas and nurture creativity. The discipline of perseverance and hard work will only move you forward in your career, your hobbies, your goals, your dreams, and ultimately, your life. 

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If you think you don't have the opportunities you need, think again. I didn't pay for any of the upskilling I sought after. I read books from the library, held conversations with other people who knew about things I didn't, I utilized the resources we had at home and what is available on the internet (and while there is a lot of trash, there are also a lot of helpful resources on there to get you started). Hard work will cost you time and energy, but it will take you further than scrolling through social media.

You don't have to do everything, and maybe instead of picking eight different hobbies like I did, just pick one, and choose your goal, breaking it down into small, achievable steps. Don't be intimidated by the fact that no one your age is doing it, you are not officially trained for it, you're not sure where it will lead, or you're afraid to take the next step. If only more people realized how powerful the bravery of doing it scared is, I think everyone would feel less held back in life. There rarely comes a time when everything falls perfectly into your lap and you don't have an ounce of doubt or wrestle with feelings of inadequacy. I believe we are capable of more than we realize, especially with God on our side. So read the book "Do Hard Things" - they go into greater detail and have some fantastic stories of their own to share. Read up about whatever you're passionate it. And choose to do the hard things. It will change your life.

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

If you were here for my recent post explaining my absence, you may remember how I mentioned an incident that took place last year. I'm here to talk a bit more about that, and some important lessons I learnt from it. 

It was early 2022, and here in Australia, we still had some major after-effects from the mess that Covid had left behind. (And I'm not referring to anything to do with illness; I'm talking government power and mandates that prohibited one from freedoms that Australians used to enjoy.) 

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To set the scene, I need to go back another year. At the end of Anne of Green Gables, in 2021, the theatre company were excited at the success of that production and were debating which show to choose next. I decided to submit a suggestion, in case they thought it was a good fit. My favourite story, only in a tie with Anne of Green Gables, is Little Women, and my sisters and I had recently discovered the musical of it. It was perfect! (Also perfect because there is a mystery in most community theatres - the lack of males interested in theatre and the over-abundance of young, female performers.) After a long wait for license approval, the theatre company announced that the next show was going to be... Little Women the Musical! (This was after they hadn't done a musical for around a decade or so.) We were thrilled! Even our beloved directors were returning just for this show! And yet, like a curse, on that same day they announced the show, the government announced restrictions for certain Australian individuals who did not choose to have a particular injection. All forms of entertainment, including theatre, was out of bounds, and those particular people were banned from all such places. That included myself and my family. This was just in the lead up to Christmas, and to my 21st birthday; I couldn't even go out to celebrate in the way I had been hoping. That was a heavy time, and I regret to say more tears than laughter took place over that holiday season. 

With the start of 2022, the auditions, casting and rehearsals took place for Little Women, as planned... without us. And then, several months later, the government decided to roll back the mandates. But the show was already cast and underway. We were faced with the decision; did we want to help out back stage for this show we had dreamed of being in, or were we too hurt from the experience to be a part of the show that we had originally suggested and been so excited for?

It didn't even take us a day to decide; we knew that once the mandates were rolled back, we would be chasing every opportunity that went our way. So one of my sisters and myself (and later two other of our siblings) volunteered our time to be part of the tech/crew for this show. My sister was taught the lighting board, and I chose the spotlight. To be honest, I mostly chose the spotlight for the symbolism is was to me. A lot of prayer went into that season of waiting, and I knew there was a lesson (or two) to learn here. I wanted God to give me the grace and humility to celebrate and champion others, even if I couldn't myself participate. And I knew there was a beauty to shining the spotlight - literally - on others, even while I was desperately aching to be a part of it.

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I remember there was one phrase that kept running over and over in my mind, during that season. And it was: "God, in this moment, how can I be like Jesus? Like His hands, like His feet?" It's a powerful question. You can't just "make" yourself have a servant heart, or will yourself into humility. It was a continual prayer for grace, for knowing what grace would look like in that moment. The image of God washing his disciples' feet kept playing in my mind. It helped my heart know where to look. So I shone the spotlight on those performers who were carrying out the story on stage in front of me; the story I had known and loved all my life. I worked with my sister to mic all the main performers, and help change the batteries and ensure they were all running smoothly. From being the lead performer in the last show, to literally buttoning up another actor's dress and helping them with their mic, I knew God was working in my heart, and teaching me a lesson. (So be careful what you pray for, friends! If you pray for more grace and humility, God is listening. ;) But He answers in such beautiful, powerful ways.)

I will also add, you may think it was an easy transition for us to help with tech, and everything worked out sweetly for us. But real life often doesn't pan out in such a linear way. We had some unpleasant experiences during that time, and there was some drama happening behind our backs that really hurt. I did cry on multiple occasions, wondering how different things could have been, and what I could have experienced if things had worked out the way I'd dreamed. But ultimately, I kept repeating that same prayer over and over, "what does it look like to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this moment?". And He graciously, patiently, showed me.

And you know what? It's actually really hard to throw a pity-party for yourself when you are celebrating your friends' successes and are genuinely happy to see them do so well! So make sure you cheer on your friends and the people who deserve the applause - it not only encourages them, it actually helps you, too. 

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On top of the lesson in humility and grace, there were several others that I learnt during that season. It was a great reminder of doing the best with whatever you are given. I told myself I would be the best spot-lighter there ever was! (No joke, I legit was so determined, haha. I had a lot of notes about the best/most artistic choices for each scene. I wanted to discover how to add more beauty and depth to the show, in ways I'd never thought of before.) I realized how much work went into the background things, so that next time I got up onstage as a performer, I could appreciate all of the tech and crew who were working so hard to let me shine onstage. 

So I challenge you. Anyone, but especially the person who is struggling with the experience of rejection and frustration (a common occurrence when you're trying to worm your way into theatre!). Don't let yourself sit in disappointment and frustration. Use that fire within you to push you forward. Challenge yourself by learning a new skill, try a fresh perspective (which I did by literally watching the show from a different perspective!), and don't let bitterness ruin your ability to appreciate beauty, and encourage others. It may not be the easiest path, but the most important lessons are never the easiest ones. We always have a choice. Choose to celebrate others. Choose to not be controlled by the bitterness or sadness that threatens, but move towards patience and hope. Choose to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

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I'm Still Alive

So at what point do you just give up from sheer embarrassment at the length of time between posts? (Just asking for a friend... is 14 months too long?)

Well, hello.

Hello, friend.

It's been a minute. I'm still alive. 

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I'm not sure where to begin. I technically wrote the first version of this post at the end of 2022, but decided not to publish it as I had no clue when I would post again. I really dislike posting once every 6 months, or 2 years, and I wanted to provide some consistency if I was to return. I've been itching to get back into writing again. So, please take the fact of me posting this as a promise to try and provide some consistent posts moving forward into this year. (I mean, we're already in March, but hush.) I've been scurrying around finishing up a handful of drafted posts so I can actually back myself this time, in case I get swamped by life again. 

Part of the reason I can feel semi-confident to keep my word this time is because I've cut back on my work hours this year, to have time for things like this. And my own sanity. Because that deserves a bit of my time, too. ;) (Oh, and time for theatre, not going to lie.)

I guess I'll start by summing up how 2022 disappeared. (I wrote one post in January, and then vanished, ha!) That year got tangled up with working around 37 hour weeks, faithfully going to singing lessons (and loving it as much as ever), learning first jazz dance then modern jive dancing, doing music gigs, and musicals. There were many emotions felt over the course of that year. It started out difficult (imagine you ask your community theatre to do one of your dream musicals - Little Women - and they put on said dream musical, but because of government mandates you are not allowed to participate, so you stand by and watch other people perform it). A lot prayer of requests for grace, which lead to helping backstage for said dream musical once the mandates were lifted (but the show was already cast and well into rehearsals). It was very humbling and powerful, to LITERALLY shine a spotlight on the cast onstage, and mic all the performers for every show. A show that I wanted to be a part of with every inch of my being. (But that's a whole other post... which will be coming later.)

And then, a new opportunity. Another musical; perhaps not a favourite, but a well known one. I auditioned, more for the sake of not letting this opportunity go by with regrets, and for practice. I was confident I had completely bombed it afterwards, as my nerves had made my voice shake. (Even though I knew I had told a story well, the perfectionist within me waved it all away with the excuse of failure.) 

I got the call. I was in! I was cast in Mamma Mia! An ensemble member (and later found out, hand picked by the music director out of around 35 people to be a group of 8 for a small vocal group; the only ensemble (with a cast of 50+) to be given a mic and three extra songs). I laugh now, when I look back and remember how I thought being an ensemble member would be a breeze after playing the role of Anne. Little did I know, I would have to learn twenty songs, and multiple dances, and what felt like endless harmonies.

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A lot of growth took place within those few months. (Plus a lot of imposter syndrome, in every way, shape and form imaginable.) The theatre company was a lot bigger and higher-standing than the previous one I'd become a part of, and I travelled over an hour both ways for rehearsals three times a week. (Which meant on a Monday and a Wednesday, I'd travel 45mins to work, work an 8 hour shift, drive 45 mins back, eat dinner in 10 mins, and drive 1hour 10 mins to rehearsals, rehearse from 7-10pm, then drive 1 hour 10 mins back.) Oh, and work the next day. Like I said, crazy. But a whole lot of fun. Mamma Mia! was like a 2.5 hour party onstage.

There was an ongoing journey with healing, grief, and the craving to know God in more infinite and deeper ways. A longing for His church and a caring community. 

By the end of 2022, I was at a bit of a loss. I loved my life and wanted to start from scratch all at the same time. How does one find balance? To continue working and growing, to pursue what you love and sets your soul on fire (in my case - singing, dancing, acting, theatre, music), to grow closer together with others, study the Bible with fellow believers, sing songs of praise and worship, move your body daily... and yet somehow still have time to potter around the kitchen late into the evening, with the soothing tones of Michael Bublé playing on Spotify, or tickle the ivories and make sure you don't lose a skill that was sorely obtained? 

I wanted to have time to just sit, and think, in my daily schedule. Cuddly our little baby bunny. Look at what my little sister made that day or watch what new sports trick my little brother could do.

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So I decided to drop my work hours. Nothing major, but it was an exciting milestone for me. After tossing it over in my head for a year, I finally sat down with my boss. I do love my work place, I love what I get to do, but I was not ready to commit even more of my life and energy and time to it. I now work four days a week, most of which I am in charge of a local head office (which makes me endlessly happy, mostly because I can choose the background music based on whatever mood I'm in). (I know, it's the little things.)

Some people would think I'm going backwards. That I'm crazy for not accepting a higher position in the company, or pursuing to climb the ladder. But that's not for me. Not at this point in my life, anyway. At the end of the day, the most precious commodity we have is time. And I knew if I looked back in twenty years, I would not regret taking care of myself, loving others well, and being happy and fulfilled with my life. On the other hand, I knew I would regret spending even more hours at work if it meant I was unhappy, burnt out, and empty (even if the numbers in my bank account were big and shiny).  

So here's to a fresh start. Here's to taking care of yourself, your body, your mind, and to taking care of others. Here's to living your life the best way you know how, regardless of the many voices telling you to do more. Here's to slowing down a little, so that you're ready when the fast days come. Here's to filling up the cup, so that you're not running on empty. And here's to you, wherever you are right now. If you've been running on empty for a long time like me, here's your invitation to slow down and know that you have a choice. You can rebuild your life if you have to. It doesn't need to be one huge decision (although it can be). It could just be a lot of small, baby steps, that lead you to a healthier version of yourself. I hope you value yourself enough to do that.

Until next time. Xx (Which I promise won't be in two years.)

Hacksaw Ridge (2016) Review

Hello everyone!

It's been a long time since I've done a movie review. Admittedly, I don't do very many - only on occasion, when I feel a movie deserves a full post. Well, the other week, I watched just such a movie, and I won't be able to get over it until I devote some time to explain how much I appreciated it. (Also, this post will be unashamedly littered with spoilers, so read at your own risk, or skip to the last 2 paragraphs.)

A brief summary of the plot: 

A true story of Private Desmond Doss, who won the Congressional Medal of Honour, even though he refused to bear arms during WWII on religious grounds. (He was dubbed a "Conscientious Objector", but preferred to be called a "Conscientious Cooperator".) During the bloodiest battle of WWII, he saved 75 men without firing a single shot. He was the only American soldier to fight on the front line without bearing a weapon. As an army medic, he single-handedly evacuated the wounded from behind enemy lines, braving the enemy fire. (He was even hit by snipers and wounded by a grenade!)

So first of all, no, this is not a horror movie - the title is eerie, I grant you, and the reason for it is also rather eerie. It's a war movie. It's also got a high rating (MA 15+ in Australia) for violence, for good reason. I will openly admit it was a violent movie, and not everyone's cup of tea. I do not enjoy watching violence, but I greatly dislike it if there is no particular reason for the movie to be violent, except to add "more excitement" or "intensity". No, thank you. But if it is a war movie, where the reasoning behind it is to give you a more realistic idea of what the people who serve go through, based off a real-life event... that I can handle. 

(To give you an idea of the level of gore we're looking at, Mel Gibson directed this movie - he also directed "Braveheart", "The Patriot", "The Passion of the Christ" etc... and this movie has also been compared with "Saving Private Ryan".)

So basically, if violence, even if it's a true story movie based on war-time settings, isn't your thing, this movie is not for you. But, if you can handle a bit of blood and gore, let me give you a few more reasons to watch this movie.

The main reason is because it's a true story! I read a bit more online about how close it was to what happened in real life, and it seems as though they were very accurate with their portrayal. Of course, there are always a few liberties taken - especially (in this case) with the romance between Desmond and his wife, but nothing dramatically different to the truth. And the main focus of the movie - when Desmond rescues 75 main, alone, on Hacksaw Ridge - is particularly intentional in every detail to be accurate. 

The story starts off giving you an overview of Desmond's life before the war. You see him fall in love with a girl, sign up for the army, and survive the brutal boot camp. You get a good picture of Desmond's character in this first section - he was a goofy, thoughtful fellow who didn't put much value on what others thought of him. (Can I add here that I really appreciated Andrew Garfield's portrayal? He played both the silly side and the intense, emotional side exceptionally well. And boy, did he have a ridiculously cute smile.) His romance with his wife - Dorothy - was sweet, although in parts not accurate to the true story. They were married, and stayed together for 49 years, until her death. 

It was difficult to watch his alcoholic father Elrond, but I guess that was the whole point. (Apparently, the movie exaggerated it, as his father wasn't abusive to his mother, nor was he that addicted to alcohol.) I spent ages trying to figure out where I had seen the mother, before realizing it was the lady who played the Aunt (/Mary Poppins) in Saving Mr. Banks. 

Sam Worthington, who played Captain Glover, is a household favourite of ours (hello, Aussie actors!) and it was great to see him in another role. He always makes the TV screen more pleasant to look at. :D

The first half of the film was basically a lead-up to the pivotal moment when one of his mates dies, and the entire army battalion have retreated and scaled down the dangerous ridge. Desmond stands at the top, hesitating. He couldn't bring himself to retreat when he knew so many of his fellow men were wounded, bleeding, and crying out in pain behind him. So he decided to run back behind the enemy lines, alone, dodging the bullets and grenades, and rescue the wounded. 

This was the most powerful part of the story. Desmond went back, slowly, one after another, dragging, pulling, carrying the wounded any way he could, attending to their wounds, then tying a rope around them and letting them down the side of the cliff. His hands were bloodied and raw, blood and mud covered his body, and sweat dripped down, but he prayed, desperately, "Just one more, Lord... just one more."

There's an article I read (it's fantastic - you can check it out here) where the real Desmond said he prayed "Lord, please help me get more and more, one more, until there [are] none left, and I'm the last one down."

He saved around 75 men, alone, within about 12 hours. 

It was truly incredible. Not only that, but the next day, they all went back up the ridge to fight again, and Desmond went with them. This time, he got badly wounded while protecting others. A grenade was thrown at them, and he kicked it out of the way, but it blew up and the impact shattered his leg and imbedded 70 pieces of shrapnel into his body (which gave him a life-long injury). Then, the men carried him on a stretcher, and while they were hurrying him back, they passed another injured man, crying out. Desmond slipped off the stretcher to help the injured man, and gave up the stretcher so they could carry him first. They eventually came back for him, and on the journey back he was also shot in the arm by a sniper. (There were so many other astounding, providential details - Mel Gibson actually left out some of these details in the film because he felt as though the audience would never believe it to be credible!)

The most disappointing factor was the ending for me (but even then, they made up for it). It ended with Desmond being rescued off the ridge and the other men lowering him down, just as he had done for the wounded. I wanted to see the after-war story, have a glimpse of the joyful reunion between Dorothy and Desmond, and see a little of their incredible life after the war. However, the film ended with photographs of the real people, and excerpts from interviews with the real-life Desmond Doss, and other people (including Captain Glover and some of Desmond's family members). So I guess I forgive them.

Not only was this film wonderfully produced, I was a better person for seeing it. It's a bit like what the movie and book "Unbroken" did for me, about Louis Zamperini; it reminded me of why I put my trust in God. It helped me realize how God can raise up men and women of valour in this day and age - people of faith, not just people from the Bible. Just because we live in the 21st century doesn't mean we are not to have the boldness and faith like Joshua or Esther or David did.

It also reminded me how important conviction is, and not only to have a conviction, but to live it. To live for what you know is true, and, by God's grace, to have the courage and strength to carry it out... that is the message that I took from this movie. And I think any movie that reminds you of truth, is a movie worth watching. :)

Dream Big or Dream Small?

Hey friends! 

I hope you've all been keeping well. I know I have been quite absent here lately. Since starting back at work with no commitments like theatre, I have been rather swamped all over again, and haven't even found the time to crack open a book, let alone write a post. :( I am endeavoring to correct that, but in the meantime, here is a post I wrote a few months ago for just such an occasion.

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Is it just me, or does the word dream scare you a little?

There are so many different songs and books and movies and stories to do with that one word, and they all have a different opinion on what it should mean.

DREAM BIG.

That's something I have seen all over Pinterest, on posters, as movie taglines, on T-shirts, even the title of books! It seems to be everywhere you look, the world is telling you through this song or on that inspirational quote that we must dream big. Even the Christian author, Bob Goff, has written a book (and has a podcast!) called "'Dream Big". 

So what does it really mean? And what about those books I've read or messages I've heard (especially in conservative, reformed groups) where the Christian circles are pressing in on us saying, "No, dream small! Don't focus your whole life on yourself, or on your own self-centred dreams!"

DREAM SMALL.

I'm sure a lot of women would be rubbed the wrong way if they heard what I've heard, that we as women should not dare to dream much bigger than being a homemaker, a wife, and a mother. I have even heard a Christian song entitled "Dream Small."

So now I'm confused. Christians themselves are telling us two different things! So which is it?! Does God want us to dream big or to dream small? Or is it not about dreams anyway?

First of all, I thought I'd add here a few Bible verses that I believe speak into this, in a way. (Would love to hear some others that have spoken to you in regards to this if you have any to share!)

Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Proverbs 16:9 - "The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps."

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Romans 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, that by testing you may discern the will of God, and what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Ephesians 3:20 - "...Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we could ask or think, according to the power that is at work within us..."

These are some things I have been pondering on, and I have a few Thoughts that I would like to share with you. I understand this could be a slightly controversial - perhaps even sensitive - topic for some, and I respect that. I am open to discuss further with this and hear other view points, as I believe many different perspectives are helpful! So here is mine.

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MY THOUGHTS.

After some pondering and prayer, I came to this conclusion. 

I believe dreams are very specific to us, and sometimes, they're just meant to be between God and ourselves. Dreaming big or dreaming small is perhaps the wrong terminology, as I do not believe one to be bigger or better or more impressive than the other. Indeed, I don't believe one is "right" and one is "wrong". 

Our dreams are beautiful, but they are so unique, hand-crafted by God, shaped to fit our exact personality and longings and talents. Maybe you have a dream of being a business owner, or a famous actress, or one of the world's leading scientists. That's amazing! But what if Laura down the street just wants to be a mother and raise babies in a loving home? That's amazing, too!

A "small" dream may be what's best for you (and who's to say small is less, anyway? Or even small at all? Why is it looked down upon if your biggest battles are fought in learning how God wants you to raise this next generation and leave a legacy for him?)... but God might be whispering something different to my heart. Or vice versa. And that's okay!

We NEED Christians in music, art, business, politics, medical fields, hospitality, education, in every neighbourhood... God can use us anywhere, in any situation. The world needs to hear the Gospel everywhere, and to witness the love of God that is to be poured out through His people... and definitely not just on a missionary field. 

We are each here for a reason. There are no two paths the same, no two dreams the same. Dream big or dream small - it doesn't matter. You are right where you need to be, as long as you're going after the dream that God has placed within your heart, pursing God and His heart...the God Who created you and the dream within you.

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P.S. And for those of you who don't even know what dream it is He has laid upon your heart, don't be afraid or discouraged. Just ask Him. And I bet you, it won't be long before you hear the whisper of God in your heart, leading you to where He'll meet you in even deeper ways, and where you'll find what you were made to do. And spoiler alert - it is rarely one simple thing, but so deep and fulfilling that it will take a lifetime to pursue. 

Look Behind You

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I've had it on my heart of late to write something that will speak to people who are feeling tired right now. Not just in the physical sense, but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 

Is it just me, or does this time of year sometimes feel discouraging, when we look back and realize we didn't accomplish everything we set out to do at the start of the year? I know this year has restricted SO many of us in our plans, and I can relate to the disappointment and frustration that wells up. Initially, I thought 2020 had held me back on the experiences and knowledge and opportunities I thought I needed to pursue the life I wanted to live. It frustrated me that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it happen. 

Yeah, you could say I'm a bit of a control freak. ;)

After complaining about the lack of opportunities, I finally was given an answer to prayer that I had waited two years for; a job as a receptionist. I was so blessed to be given a lovely workplace, colleagues, and work that I loved, and yet still things weren't perfect. Why?

Because I was terrified. I knew absolutely nothing about the job or the field of work (other than completing some certificates while in school and doing some data entry at other workplaces), and there were unbelievable amounts of information to learn. I was told it would take 6 months before I would even get a grip on things, perhaps longer. I hated feeling inadequate, like I wasn't giving anything to the team, or even worse, I was 'letting other people down' by making mistakes. (Yes, I've been working on getting a healthier mindset. ;)) 

It's a genuine struggle to persist at something you're not very good at. That you're totally clueless about. Especially when surrounded by a room full of people who seem to have it all together. 

The first couple weeks I had to keep telling myself not to quit, it would get easier. And then I would pray,

"Oh, Lord, PLEASE let it get easier."

A few weeks passed, and I still found it overwhelming. This time, I prayed a little different:

"Lord, please show me your presence strongly today. I need to know you are right there beside me. Please whisper in my ears when my hands are shaking and my stomach is churning. Remind me of your faithfulness in the past, and help me to trust in you again. I forget so easily, Lord."

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That day, I had the best work day I'd ever had at my new job. All nerves flew away, I was confident and eager to start my shift, and I had colleagues remark to me and say I seemed like I'd gotten so much more comfortable and confident in just a week, or even a day; that I was doing really well.

I wish I could say every work day was like that, but they weren't. There were some hard ones. There were some easier ones. It wasn't the work or the workplace so much as my own anxieties and pressure I had placed upon myself. A perfectionist mindset. The desire to please everyone. The idea that I could learn it all perfectly and quickly, only having to be taught once. (Yeah, that's cute, Gabby.)

While I was driving to work during one of the harder weeks, God reminded me of something:

"Look behind you."

So I looked behind - not at my rear-view mirror, but at my past. I had felt this scared before, when I first started work at my café job, back when I was in school. The people I worked with were perfectly lovely, and the role itself was not very hard. But man, was I scared. Absolutely terrified. Anxiety can take many different forms, but I do believe I had my own battle with it during those times. And yet, two years on, I feel very capable at my café job, and it gives me confidence in knowing that I am capable of doing at least one job well. I have come SUCH a long way, and yet it's so easy to forget. Without a second thought, I just assumed that this time around it was going to be different.

And you know, I let myself take it a step further. I asked what if?

What if my greatest fears actually took place? What if I failed miserably at my job? What if people were disappointed in me? What if I let the team down? And deep down, the one nagging at me...

... what if I messed up so bad, that I came into work one day and found out I had lost my new, precious job? 

Fear clouded my thoughts (and they still can, if I'm not constantly fighting those lies). I tend to place a lot of worth in my performance and what I can do for others, so if I am not able to give even half the amount that everyone else is giving, I feel so worthless and ashamed. 

So again, I brought this to my Heavenly Father and cried out to him with my deepest fears that had been ripping my peace apart and breaking my sleep and leaving me broken.

And tenderly, oh so tenderly, he reminded me yet again.

Gabby. Even if your deepest fears were realized, even if the absolute WORST happened, you still have everything you need. Even if you lose your job and you are filled with shame and disappointment, there is still hope. Because you have me. And that is all you'll ever need. You can lose all of it and still you cannot gain anything greater than what you already have. Everything you need is right here, and it's not going away. I will never go away. I will never leave you or lose you. There is always hope, because I AM.

And dear friend, it was as if all my fears melted away. The mountain I thought was blocking my path was actually just a little ant-hill that I could step over, because I had been lying flat on the ground, paralyzed with fear and unable to see with a clear perspective.

 Even if you lose 'everything', you still have all you will ever need, in Him. He is our Provider, our Comforter and our Protector. He isn't just with you on the days where you could shout for joy because of His many blessings, He is also with you on the days when you cry into your pillow every night for weeks on end. 

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You may be scratching your head, at the end of this, wondering how this applies AT ALL to end of year disappointments and feelings of exhaustion?

Simply because of this:

2020 was NOT how I pictured it and it ruined so many incredible dreams and aspirations that I had cherished for a long time, but it did not ruin my life. Not even close. What I thought I needed this year was about stage 3 in a process where I hadn't even gotten past the intro. God needed to do a lot of heart work within me this year, and He sure did. I did not survive this year (or starting this new job) because I'm so adaptable and perfect, but only and purely because of relying on God's strength and peace. 

It's still easy to look at this year and be disappointed with the dashed hopes, but remember that God doesn't waste anything. He gives you everything you need, even if sometimes that doesn't look like what you think it will. You can push through it because God's power is greater than our weakness. Remember that He is faithful. Remember that He always has been. Remember that He always will be. Remember that we have all we need when we have God's grace. 

And to close, I would like to write out some song lyrics that I really love and which I reflected over a lot during those difficult weeks. In the what if scenario that I would lose my job, I realized that my life would still go on. My family would still be there, music would still be there, the birds whistling in the trees would still be there, and God would still be there.

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"If the sky falls down and the river floods

All we got is all we want

The moon still pulls the ocean

My head still fits your shoulder

Long as vinyl records still make you dance

As long as there's a bigger plan

And every day is new

All I need is the grace of God and you."

("Grace of God and You", by Clare Bowen)

Of Pain and Purpose

If you were to ask any of my friends to describe me, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them would say "talkative, enthusiastic, laughs a lot..." My personality is bubbly and I like to look at the world through rose coloured glasses, if I can. But some days, my heart is heavier than most people would think. 

2020 has wrecked me, in some ways. It has broken apart a lot of the carefree and lighthearted spirit I used to carry around. I am still cheery by nature, but there is a part of me, deep down inside, that is now a little heavier, a little more serious than it ever used to be. I guess it's part of growing up. 

There have been obvious challenges this year - fire, floods, drought, a pandemic, etc - but I have also faced personal challenges. Rejection, lost opportunities, battles with depressive spirals, crying and praying over friends struggling (especially with mental illnesses), seeing all the hurt and grief in the world, losing a friend... it's been hard. And painful. But through it all, I've also grown closer to God, and run into His arms quicker than I ever have before. I've cried and prayed and cried again, and wrestled unceasingly with questions, begging God for answers. 

For when hardships come around, questions will follow. When pain flares up, purpose is brought into our minds. 

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Earlier this year, I experienced grief in a different way to what I ever have experienced before. I lost a friend in a freak accident. She was only young; seventeen, with supposedly so much life ahead of her. I look back at group photos and still can't believe that she was the first one to go home and meet her Maker. I knew so much peace, though, with the knowledge that she was with her Saviour. But the questions came at me, nagging me, from all sides.

That dear girl was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Her gentle, thoughtfulness always amazed me, and even though she was younger than I, I learnt a lot from her quiet, kind ways.

Wretchedly, I would look at myself and think, "why not me, Lord? She was so much kinder, sweeter than I... she didn't deserve to die. I feel so much less than her; I don't deserve to be the one left behind. Why didn't you choose me instead?" 

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Later on this year, I then heard of a young couple in California, YouTubers I sometimes watch, Marcus and Kristen, being in a freak accident, where someone purposefully mowed them down with their car while they were peacefully riding their bike in the neighbourhood. Over and over, doctors and onlookers said "they should have died" because the accident was so horrific and incredible. But they survived. They had dangerous injuries and months' worth of rehabilitation and re-training to be able to walk and live the way they used to live, but they were alive. And NO ONE could tell them how they had survived it, or only why their legs were broken and injured. They literally flew 50 feet into the air! 

But they knew how. 

"Jesus saved our lives", they told everyone.

And I was reminded, yet again, that we're not balancing on this tightrope of fate, not sure if we'll wobble off and perish or skillfully make it to the other side. We're securely, safely, held in God's hand. We forget that God is literally in control of our lives, and if it's not time for us to go home, then He won't let us. But if He knows best, even when we think WE do, then He'll call us back to Him when it's time, just like He did with my sweet friend.

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So no matter how vulnerable or worthless we may feel, we are on this earth for a purpose. And if you are still living and breathing, then God is not finished with you yet. 

God's plan for us is enveloped with His love, and we know that He is good, and His plans are good. And "I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39)

We can walk through pain with Jesus, and we will come out of it with Him, grounded in the peace and purpose that He has for us. <3

How God Uses Even Us

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Once I had two friends (at separate times, but within the space of a year), who were both dear girls, diagnosed with some form of eating disorder. It was a difficult time for them, and an anxious time for me. Both were very unwell – one had to take frequent trips to the hospital for months, and the other had to visit multiple doctors a week. It was during this time that I prayed to God, asking Him to show me what I could do. I didn’t get to see either one of those girls very often, and felt as though I was utterly powerless to do anything to help them. The only thing I could think of doing was sending them notes or letters. So I did.

I knew that they would have many other people in their lives helping them with other areas, and that it wasn’t my task to guide them towards a healthier mindset and approach. They didn't need that from me as well. God told me what they needed. They needed tender love and support.

So on occasion I would write, just letting them know that I was there for them, to be a support and encouragement, and that I loved them and God loved them. Because it was true! I genuinely wanted the best for those girls and I ached to help them more, but I could not. All I could do was send them a reminder from time to time that they were loved and I had their back.

And you know what?

That was all I needed to do. God knew that was what they needed from me, and He enabled me to do just that.

Today, both those girls are much happier and healthier and I’m so proud of them. It was a hard time for them, and I’m sure they both came out stronger for it. And I came out of it knowing something I hadn’t known before; that God knows what my friends need better than I do. I was so frustrated during those waiting seasons, because I wanted to be a friend who would come over and hold their hand, watch movies together, laugh together, cry together, and be very present with them. But I was not in the circumstance to be able to do that. At first I thought that if I couldn't do that, then I couldn't help them at all. Tenderly, God reminded me that being a good friend doesn't always mean being at the forefront, physically being there for them and sitting beside them in every recovery picture they had. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is be the person in the background, rallying behind our friends in prayer, cheering them on in spirit, and sending messages of encouragement and support when they need it most.

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Both those girls wrote to me, during and after recovery, saying that they had been so encouraged by my support and constant love and care through it all. They said those small words of encouragement helped them through it and made a big difference to them. And I’m not trying to say that as though I’m the model friend and you should all praise me – PLEASE don’t take it that way! – because it wasn’t me, it was Jesus. I just did what the Holy Spirit prompted me to do. I told them the truth that they needed to hear. I reminded them that God was whispering words of love into their ear, if they could only hear it.

God is marvellous in answering our prayers. He hardly ever answers them directly, but He does in a round-about way that is far better. When I asked Him to let me help my friends, I was expecting Him to bring an opportunity forward where I could go visit them or help care for them in some obvious way. But no, I had only a pen and paper. Yet that was all I needed. God gave me everything, because He knew what both myself and my friends did and didn’t need. 

Friends, don't underestimate the power of your words; remember that you can choose to speak life or speak death. Choose life.

Don't underestimate what God can do through you, even if you feel helpless and not enough; even if your circumstance is less than ideal. He is enough.

Don't underestimate the wisdom and kindness of God, and how He can use even us, in both big ways and little ways. He knows best. 

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And dear soul, don't doubt your worth or your value because you aren't being praised by multitudes of people and you feel insignificant; it is the humblest lives that give forth the most kindness. <3

Why Do We Make It So Complicated?

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Last week, I visited a person I've known a long time. As I listened to her speak, I studied her face, and it reminded me of something. 

When I first met this lady, she actually frightened me a little. I was young at the time, and she was more of a rough type than I was used to. She said exactly what she thought and if she didn't like something, you knew it. Her face was not harsh, but it was not a motherly kind of face like I was used to. She often smelt of cigarette smoke. I shied away from her.

To me, her face was scary and her person was one I didn't want to get to know. I intended to keep my safe distance.

Fast-forward many years, and now I see this lady regularly. And only last week, did I stop to think of how my perception of her has changed so drastically.

Her face was no longer intimidating (perhaps also because I did not have to crane my neck to look at her anymore) and I was at ease beside her. When I listened to her speak, her chattering was endearing, and her face soft and tender with age. 

And I knew that over the past ten years, the person who had changed more was not her, but I. When I understood this, I realized that the same face which I had thought scary years before, was now kind and beautiful to me, because I had come to know the person behind it. 

And I thought, how often do I do that in life.

I look at someone, and decide they are too intimidating, too frightening, too rough. I decide I cannot talk to them and could never get to know them because they are just not "my type". And the knowledge that in one glance I have the presumption and self-righteousness to think I can sum up one person's soul is so convicting for me.

For too long, I have looked at people with glasses made of the world's standards, silhouetted with my own judgement, and decided if I would accept them or not. But the more I come to know God's heart, the more I realize that couldn't be further from the way God looks at them, the way He looks at us, the way He looks at me.

Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. Too many times, Gabby has looked at the outside, and failed to look at the heart. And now I stand convicted.

I do not want to judge someone with a glance any longer. I do not want to make a prejudice against someone and never give them room to show me otherwise. I do not want to choose who I will get to know merely based on outward appearances and perceptions.

Oh Father, please, help me to see people the same way you would have me see them; the same way YOU see them. Father, give me the heart to never write someone off, but to extend grace and acceptance. If I ever misjudge a person, let me know them on a deeper level and show me my ignorance and pride.

May I take the words of Billy Graham to heart, and live them out knowing,

"It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge, and my job to love."

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You have given us a simple commandment - that we would love one another. Why do we make it so complicated?

Thank you for Peter

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The other day I was reading 2 Peter in my Bible and had a thought strike me.

This is Peter... he's writing these letters about the grace of God and the calling and election of God's people after everything else that happened before.

He who is writing about the testing of faith is the same man who began to doubt and slip as he was walking on the water towards Jesus.

He who is writing about holiness is the same man who denied Jesus three times when he swore he would never do so.

He who is writing about virtue and love is the same man who failed so many times, and seemed so confused.

Oh Lord, I whispered, thank you for Peter.

Thank you that there is some one else out there who fails just like me. Someone who let fear take over his faith in moments of doubt. Someone who messed up and did things he could never undo. 
Thank you that you let this man contribute his letters to Scripture, because he reminds me of myself.

But what I am even more thankful for is how he shows me how great You are, God. 

Peter used to be doubtful and fearful, and yet later he talked in front of crowds with confidence and boldness, speaking words of truth and standing firm. He was a changed man. But it wasn't of him. It was of You.

But what strikes me the most, is how You never left him. You never left him. When he was doubtful, You never shook your head in frustration or sternly commanded him to try harder. All You ever did was love him. You forgave him. You were goodness itself.

Thank you, Jesus, that there is grace enough for Peter, because that means there is grace enough for me.

No matter the size of our mistake, no matter how many times we mess up or give in to fear, You always give us grace. There is always grace enough.

Your grace and goodness is far greater than any fear or sin we bring to You. There is no mountain too big, no mistake too deep for You. You are always enough. You are more than enough.

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I know a lot of people who love the apostle Paul and his writing (and I agree, it is always so life-giving for me to read!) and other people who love David or Solomon's writing. Of course I appreciate all of them, but there is always a little part of me that relates to Peter that little bit more. Perhaps because he seems so real and flawed and relatable.

And because in all his mistakes, I see God's view of me even clearer.
When Peter began to sink into the water, Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him and said, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

He didn't rebuke Peter, He didn't tell him he should have tried harder; He simply reminded him there was no need to doubt God's goodness and faithfulness. I can just imagine the gentle tone that Jesus would have asked Peter why he doubted.

When Peter denied Jesus three times, Jesus never said a word about it afterwards. He was already forgiven.

I love Peter because his life reminds me that God's first words to us are always of love. We are forgiven. We are loved.
There is grace enough for us.

Your Circumstances Are NOT Your Limitations // Practical Ways to Follow Your Dreams

This is a post I've wanted to write ever since I started my blog, because it's something I'm passionate about. Now seems like the perfect time to share that part of my heart with you.

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It's about an idea; the idea that you are not boxed in, and your potential in life is not squashed by your current circumstances.

You may be feeling as though you can't make your next step towards your dream because the door seems barred shut and you don't have all the opportunities that so many other people seem to have. I know what that feels like, believe me, and I know how hard it is. But I learnt something during my teen years that totally changed my perspective on everything.

For quite a long time, I was happy being complacent. I would read some books, avidly read blogs, watch movies, play with my dolls, colour in and listen to story casettes, and dream my little dreams.

I didn't really know who I was, or what I wanted for myself. I didn't have any true dreams on my heart.

Then, when I was around thirteen years of age, and was the most enthusiastic blog-reading girl that I've ever been, I became disastrously upset and frustrated. Reading about so many other people's lives, it placed a seed in my heart that I'd never truly battled with before; part of it was jealousy, but most of it was discontentment. It grew into constant restlessness and opened my eyes to how exactly I was spending my time and using my life. Almost all my spare time was consumed reading blogs or books, and not truly living.

I had no idea why I was so unhappy; I just was. And as, as I got older, I began to realize more and more about who I was. I began to realize what brought me joy, what I loved spending my time on, and how different I truly was to my other siblings and their own unique tastes.

And I'm not sure what it was, exactly, but I began to try things. Anything. Everything.

I decided it was not the time to lazily loiter around, but to get up and get stuff done. It was as if my zest and zeal for life just exploded and I was charging around on new-found enthusiasm and motivation. I began to actually focus on my school and enjoy it; I liked the challenge. I would do double, I would take on extra subjects, and ask to do topics that interested me.

I experimented with baking, I learnt songs on the piano grades above me just to prove I could play them, I read books that were thicker than most adults I knew read, I picked up the guitar and the violin (and put them down again a year or two later, but hush, we won't speak of that, haha), I found tutorials online of things I was interested and followed them; I wrote poetry, stories, and began writing plays. I dabbled in everything, and I excelled at nothing.

But you know, that was okay, because I was discovering who I was. And I learnt a lot during that time.

One thing I learnt was that by far my biggest passion was music and musical theatre. (Literature did come in as a close second, though.)

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I decided that was something I wanted to pursue in a bigger way.

I dreamed of performing live on stage with a cast, and having an audience clap for my breathtaking performance, and imagined seeing my family sitting in the front row tearily cheering me on. It was my favourite dream, and I spent so many hours happily engrossed in it. (That's where you could catch my brain wandering during those boring math classes.)

I found people online who'd grown up doing theatre, had a career all ahead of them; even home schooled girls who managed to get into their community theatre. But me? I couldn't. There were many reasons why. For one thing, no one else in my family was interested in musical theatre and no one could spare the time to drive me in to rehearsals and auditions. I had no experience so the chance of me getting a role was extremely low. And I knew no one else who was in the industry or even enjoyed it as a hobby; literally no one.

Have you ever been in that boat? When you have a fire inside of you for something, but it's as if your circumstances - your life - were not at all created to fit it? Like you're living the wrong person's life? I wondered if God had accidentally mixed me up with another girl - oh Lord, are you SURE this is where I'm meant to be?? Because I'm pretty sure that the pictures I saw online look JUST like where I think I should be!

You were NOT made to simply live your life half-heartedly; gazing at someone else's life and wishing yours away. God created you and your life in a unique way that no one else has. I know that seems cliche, but you have to believe it to live it. And even if you have to wrestle with that every day, that's okay. Because you can fight on. Shuffle forwards, trip over, fall backwards, then get back up and push onwards. Because all the bruises and scars and cuts on your body from fighting are worth a hundred lives lived in unhappiness and regret. Don't let your circumstances define you; don't let the lies tell you how to live your life.

It's a real feeling. I know it too well. But there are ways to fight it, and I beg you, please fight it.

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Your circumstances are NOT your limitations. And don't ever believe that they are, because God can use the lowliest of man to bring about the highest praise and glory. He can use whatever circumstance you are in to bring about the best result possible. He doesn't make mistakes, He only makes miracles. You are a miracle and your life is a living testimony of God.
So how, you are wondering, does this have anything to do with how to ACTUALLY follow your dreams when you feel as though you can't do anything to get where you want to be?
I'm getting to it! ;)

Thinking back to when I was in that hopeless circumstance, feeling as though I had no way to get into musical theatre while simultaneously believing I wouldn't have truly lived until I had experienced it for myself... the stubborn, determined part of me rose up and decided I wouldn't just sit there and watch my dreams pass by. I was going to fight.

I didn't have the money to pay for singing lessons, but that didn't stop me from singing. Just ask my family, I would literally sing every single day. While I was cleaning, while I was in the shower, while I was going for a walk - you couldn't stop me if you tried. And admittedly, I was not good at it (at ALL) to begin with. I was almost tone-deaf at ten years of age. But I just loved to sing! So I did. I listened to endless amounts of music (always, always lyrical) and copied the singers. I fiddled around. For years, I experimented with my voice and played with different techniques (without knowing what I was doing). I watched YouTube tutorials and singing lessons (Evynne Hollens' has the best ones I've come across, by the way!) and never stopped singing.

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When it came to dancing, again, I couldn't afford lessons, so I'd watch online dance tutorials and learn the basic steps to different styles of dance. I'd go until I was puffing and my face was as red as a beet. Then I realized, hey, if performers had to sing AND dance for around two hours every night, I'd better get fit! So I began working out five days a week, doing cardio, HIIT, strength and pilates. It took me awhile to get into my groove, but once I figured out what I was doing (Fitness Blender to the rescue), I gained a lot of muscle and became three times more fit than I'd ever been. I also decided that it was a good idea to be flexible, because a lot of theatre dances required flexibility, so I began to do yoga and stretching, to work on my flexibility. Yeah, still working on that one.

When it came to actual theatre and acting, I decided to tackle it myself. So I wrote a small play with my little sister to perform for my little brother. We knew he'd love it and clap as if we were Tony-award winning performers, so the cheering was already guaranteed. (I will still never forget how excited his face looked at the end of our first scene, when he squealed to Mummy, "This is going to be SO good!!")

I lost count of how many plays I wrote after that (eventually adding my little brother to the cast, who turned out to be the most naturally talented performer I've come across yet), and performing them in front of my parents and older siblings. I learnt what worked well in a play, what didn't, what jokes made people laugh and what tended to fall flat. I tried my hand at making posters, using props, and working on better costumes. I began re-writing lyrics to songs and adding them into our plays, to turn them into musicals.

This carried on for years, and gradually my skills grew better and more fine-tuned. I began writing larger plays that lasted an hour or more, and even performed them for extended family members.

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When I was earning money from my cafe job, I decided it was finally time to have singing lessons. I was blessed to find a singing teacher who was exactly what I was looking for, and a year later have already gained so much confidence and knowledge. I still have a long way to go with my vocal performance, but I do believe I have already come such a long way.

This past year I decided I would pay for dance lessons, and decided on tap. The group of ladies were all a good many years older than me (comprised of mostly "dance mums"), but I didn't mind. I was there to learn how to dance and to move forward in pursuing musical theatre.

I began telling friends about my plays (many years after I'd started doing them) and was amazed at how much support I got from others. Whenever people ask what my favourite things to do are now, musical theatre is one of the first things that comes out of my mouth.

So, I obviously have to mention that at this stage, no, I have still not had the opportunity to be involved in an actual fully-fledged production. And no, I haven't even had the experience of an audition yet, either. But one thing at a time, friends. 2020 was, in my head, going to be the year when I could finally fling myself into the theatre world and take part in the dream that's been on my heart for years. I'd decided that if I couldn't get a part in a production, I would volunteer for backstage work instead. I'd do lighting, sound, costume, props, ticket sales, cleaning - anything! I just wanted to have a taste, show my face and get a feel of what the drama world is actually like.

I have to confess how incredibly disheartened and frustrated I was to realize that, with COVID-19, there is the great probability and almost surety that no production in my community theatre will be happening this year, and I'll have to wait another year to try. At first, I was angry, and couldn't believe that after waiting seven years, I'd have to wait one more. But now, though still saddened, I've come to realize it matters very little.

Why?

You see, the dream hasn't been one of those one-summer-going-through-a-phase-fleeting-idea dreams... it's lasted with me for a long time, and I believe it's there for a reason. And I also believe that if God has placed that in my heart, then there is a reason for it being my dream... and someday, it will happen. So I have to trust and believe that the one Who placed it in my heart, will also help to bring it about, in His perfect timing.

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Musical theatre is my dream, but I know it's not everyone's. What is yours? Can you relate to feeling trapped and limited by your circumstances?

I realize all my examples here were strictly in the theatre world, but the motives and actions can apply to any dream. If it has been on your heart, then why not start right now, with where you're at? You can read, you can immerse yourself with knowledge; you can trial and experiment and fail and succeed; you can use whatever is at your fingertips to pursue that which is pounding in your chest and wrapping itself through your thoughts.

Often times, dreams are seasonal things, but if it's your dream now, then maybe it's also your season. Pursue God, delight in Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ask Him to reveal to you how your dream can glorify and serve Him, how you can be a light to others with the light of passion burning bright in your eyes.

I truly believe, friends, that a dream is precious; and if we have courage and determination, if we're willing to work for it and cry over it and struggle through it, and if we truly seek God's heart on it and pray into it, then someday, that dream will be ours.

I hope that you can step out in faith, and remember that you are not limited by your circumstances, that God's plan for you has purpose, and the dream you have is for a reason. That in pursuing the dream He has given you, you will learn more about the wonder and majesty of the God Who creates and gifts those dreams to every human being on earth, including you and me.