Lately: Autumn 2023 Edition

I was inspired by Olivia to do another Lately post. They are always enjoyable to write, and I am home from work with a cold right now, and feel like being distracted by pleasantries.

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Note: please overlook the fact this is an autumn edition, even though we are a few days off winter here in Australia, as I write... ;) 

WATCHING...

• Gilmore Girls Season 5 (I know, I know, I said no more, and then I found season 5 at the Bookfest for a few dollars and missed it so much I caved in.)
• Julia & Julie (because I just finished "My Life in France"... I wanted MORE - it was too short lived :'()
• The Batman trilogy (one of my friends who is crazy passionate about film hosted them all in a cinema (which he used to work at) so we could watch it all together on the big screen
• Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (I've heard of the musical and wanted to see what the movie was all about... aside from seeing Michael Caine before he had gray hair, I apparently hadn't been missing out on too much)

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READING...

• "My Life in France" by Julia Child (delicious to read, even though I've never done French cooking)
• "It Ends with Us" by Colleen Hoover (one of my work colleagues leant it to me saying I must read it... definitely not the style I usually prefer. That one paired with "A Thousand Boys Kisses"... I don't think I need any more romance for the rest of the year)
• "Ben-Hur" by Lew Wallace (wish me luck. There's a reason the list ends here.)

CONSUMING...

• Chai lattes and chai tea (one of the few teas I ENJOY)
• Coffee, always 
• Pumpkin soup (my mum makes a mean pumpkin soup, and it's quite often the highlight of my winter - that and minestrone)
• Cinnamon rolls (a lady from our home group made them for us last week and I have decided I have a new favourite food)

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SINGING...

• The Tuck Everlasting musical (because, rehearsals, and also outside of rehearsals they are just permanently engraved into my brain)
• "Mister Snow" from Carousel and "Who Needs Love" from Ever After the musical (both of which I'm prepping for an upcoming audition... also please tell me you HAVE listened to the delightful entertainment that is Ever After the musical?!)
• "I Can Do Better Than That" from The Last 5 Years because it's FUN (and yeah I did rewrite some lyrics ;))

ENJOYING...

• Learning to swing dance! I went to a 1940s costume swing dance party and it was a blast. An absolute blast, I tell you. I want to go back to that chaotic era of red lipstick and swishy skirts and energetic dancing. 
• Cuddling our pet hare, who was adopted into our family just before Christmas, last year. He is much like a cat in personality, and can often be seen in someone's lap or hiding behind our couch, snoozing.
• Leading worship for my local church. I only recently started this year, and have only been able to do it a couple times, but it's honestly been such a blessing. I'm often just backing or singing harmony, but I have lead a few times as well. Singing worship songs with a small band and leading a room full of people in praising the name of Jesus... it gives me many thrills.

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LISTENING TO...

• That Sounds Fun podcast (it never fails to brighten my day)
• Tuck Everlasting soundtrack... over and over (and now trying to avoid it as much as possible)
• Michael Buble & Frank Sinatra radio on Spotify (I choose this as our waiting room music at work because I love it and it makes me happy)
• Caity Gyorgy (I've just discovered her! I love how she makes up lyrics to otherwise instrumental jazz songs, it's so clever. I am in awe.) 

WORKING ON...

• Running our new head office at work (eeekk I feel like I'm now a combination of sales rep and manager and real estate agent and HR)
• My mix belt. Always. *sigh*
• Getting off-book with my understudy lines (it's way harder as an understudy... :/)

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DAYDREAMING OF...

• Travelling internationally... especially to Italy.
• All the different careers I could pursue, while simultaneously staying in my current job (I've always done this; I'm so indecisive - some days I'm like, "I was made to be a counsellor", or "I should definitely pursue paramedicine", or "I could be a support worker" or "maybe I should do retail?")
• The day when I get to play a lead role in a musical... someday, some day. :D

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What have you been up to, lately?

How Doing Hard Things Changed My Life

I'll admit, this post has been in my drafts ever since I started my blog. So today I decided it was time to change that. 

I heard the name of the book "Do Hard Things: a Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations" mentioned a few times over the years, and was very curious to discover the story behind it. About 3 years ago, I finally got my hands on a copy, and I believe I finished it in about two days. (Which is very fast for me, ok?) It was a fantastic book, and I highly recommend it to anyone - especially teenagers - but I'm not actually here to give a review; rather, I'm here to show you how that book affected me, and how I can see the results of it in my life.

So let's take it back a bit. 

Around age twelve or so, I was not a highly motivated young person. Sure, I was motivated to read Charles Dickens, and practice the piano maybe once a fortnight, but that was about it. School was mostly a painful process and my 'hobbies' were very limited. 

Then one day, and I can't even tell you why, I decided to change that. It could have been a conversation I'd had with someone, it could have been the inspiration I gained from reading other people's blogs, or maybe it was even a prompting from the Holy Spirit, but at any rate, I decided I was not going to watch my life go by and let it go to waste.

I believe I was about fourteen when I decided to make the most of the time I had. Languages, learning extra in school, baking, cooking, photography, videography, plays and play writing, talking to older people, reading, writing, researching, trying new things, exercising, seizing every opportunity, organizing events, taking on responsibilities etc...

You could definitely say I'm a bit of an over-achiever, and perhaps I did get a bit excited. ;) But my point is, we get to choose how we spend today. There is nothing stopping you from learning more, from growing and living your life to the fullest extent. We can get paralyzed by the disappointment of our circumstances, the lack of opportunities we hoped for, the staleness of the everyday. Or we can take the fire and restlessness deep within our souls and make something out of it. 

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I don't want to use this as a "look at me, aren't I amazing?" and nor do I want the extent of this post to simply advocate hobbies. I want people - especially teenagers, who are unhappy about where they are in life right now - to see this as hope and inspiration. Pray for wisdom, pray for patience, pray for diligence. Dare to be brave, to dream bigger, to do the unknown, and do it scared.

I would much rather look back on my life with no regrets, and have extra skills, many interests, an added level of knowledge, maturity, independence and preparation for the future, than have little to show. Replacing idleness or laziness with motivation and drive, we can do amazing things. It is not going to be easy, but we can do hard things. We can do great things.

What did this drive get me? Well, I completed grade 11 and 12 in 1.5 years, while also working at a café two days a week, and completing two certificates in Business. This was from the compilation of doing twice the amount of schoolwork every day from the age of 14 onwards, instead of puttering along at a comfortable pace. I learnt French, studied extra Latin and Italian, and began creating videos and working on editing. I began a fitness journey, a habit which has helped me stay healthy and fit for the past 7 years. I was cooking dinner for my family of 8 by age 10 (which, to be fair, was from my mother's urging and not my own, but I grew to enjoy it), so that by the age of 22, I have no concern about being given a recipe or a challenge in the kitchen. 

I earnt enough money while completing school that I could buy my own car outright a year after I graduated. I was qualified to take on a receptionist position and later be offered the position of marketing coordinator because I had done blogging, website work and videography during my school years. I had decided I would take singing and dance lessons once I could afford to pay for it, and began taking private vocal lessons later on. Those lessons then helped me to pursue my passion of singing and musical theatre, assisted by my perseverance of practicing daily and being self-disciplined. I took dance classes once I could afford them, and continued teaching myself at home (YouTube is great, guys) how to tap dance, until I am now able to help my teacher at tap class demonstrate our choreography. I knew I wanted to pursue theatre some day, so I began writing my own plays, reading other play scripts for guidance, and directed and performed in them with my siblings for family members. Without that, I would never have gotten cast as the title role in "Anne of Green Gables" after my first ever audition (with no "formal" experience). (And just putting it out there, my director told me to add the plays I had written and performed in to my theatre experience resume, because he said that totally counted.)

That is just one example from my life. It will look completely different from person to person. But I want the take-away to be this: the drive to upskill will only help you in whatever you pursue later on in life. The motivation to learn as much as possible will give you information and knowledge to be able to be a part of any conversation without feeling out of depth, provide more ideas and nurture creativity. The discipline of perseverance and hard work will only move you forward in your career, your hobbies, your goals, your dreams, and ultimately, your life. 

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If you think you don't have the opportunities you need, think again. I didn't pay for any of the upskilling I sought after. I read books from the library, held conversations with other people who knew about things I didn't, I utilized the resources we had at home and what is available on the internet (and while there is a lot of trash, there are also a lot of helpful resources on there to get you started). Hard work will cost you time and energy, but it will take you further than scrolling through social media.

You don't have to do everything, and maybe instead of picking eight different hobbies like I did, just pick one, and choose your goal, breaking it down into small, achievable steps. Don't be intimidated by the fact that no one your age is doing it, you are not officially trained for it, you're not sure where it will lead, or you're afraid to take the next step. If only more people realized how powerful the bravery of doing it scared is, I think everyone would feel less held back in life. There rarely comes a time when everything falls perfectly into your lap and you don't have an ounce of doubt or wrestle with feelings of inadequacy. I believe we are capable of more than we realize, especially with God on our side. So read the book "Do Hard Things" - they go into greater detail and have some fantastic stories of their own to share. Read up about whatever you're passionate it. And choose to do the hard things. It will change your life.

I'm Still Alive

So at what point do you just give up from sheer embarrassment at the length of time between posts? (Just asking for a friend... is 14 months too long?)

Well, hello.

Hello, friend.

It's been a minute. I'm still alive. 

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I'm not sure where to begin. I technically wrote the first version of this post at the end of 2022, but decided not to publish it as I had no clue when I would post again. I really dislike posting once every 6 months, or 2 years, and I wanted to provide some consistency if I was to return. I've been itching to get back into writing again. So, please take the fact of me posting this as a promise to try and provide some consistent posts moving forward into this year. (I mean, we're already in March, but hush.) I've been scurrying around finishing up a handful of drafted posts so I can actually back myself this time, in case I get swamped by life again. 

Part of the reason I can feel semi-confident to keep my word this time is because I've cut back on my work hours this year, to have time for things like this. And my own sanity. Because that deserves a bit of my time, too. ;) (Oh, and time for theatre, not going to lie.)

I guess I'll start by summing up how 2022 disappeared. (I wrote one post in January, and then vanished, ha!) That year got tangled up with working around 37 hour weeks, faithfully going to singing lessons (and loving it as much as ever), learning first jazz dance then modern jive dancing, doing music gigs, and musicals. There were many emotions felt over the course of that year. It started out difficult (imagine you ask your community theatre to do one of your dream musicals - Little Women - and they put on said dream musical, but because of government mandates you are not allowed to participate, so you stand by and watch other people perform it). A lot prayer of requests for grace, which lead to helping backstage for said dream musical once the mandates were lifted (but the show was already cast and well into rehearsals). It was very humbling and powerful, to LITERALLY shine a spotlight on the cast onstage, and mic all the performers for every show. A show that I wanted to be a part of with every inch of my being. (But that's a whole other post... which will be coming later.)

And then, a new opportunity. Another musical; perhaps not a favourite, but a well known one. I auditioned, more for the sake of not letting this opportunity go by with regrets, and for practice. I was confident I had completely bombed it afterwards, as my nerves had made my voice shake. (Even though I knew I had told a story well, the perfectionist within me waved it all away with the excuse of failure.) 

I got the call. I was in! I was cast in Mamma Mia! An ensemble member (and later found out, hand picked by the music director out of around 35 people to be a group of 8 for a small vocal group; the only ensemble (with a cast of 50+) to be given a mic and three extra songs). I laugh now, when I look back and remember how I thought being an ensemble member would be a breeze after playing the role of Anne. Little did I know, I would have to learn twenty songs, and multiple dances, and what felt like endless harmonies.

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A lot of growth took place within those few months. (Plus a lot of imposter syndrome, in every way, shape and form imaginable.) The theatre company was a lot bigger and higher-standing than the previous one I'd become a part of, and I travelled over an hour both ways for rehearsals three times a week. (Which meant on a Monday and a Wednesday, I'd travel 45mins to work, work an 8 hour shift, drive 45 mins back, eat dinner in 10 mins, and drive 1hour 10 mins to rehearsals, rehearse from 7-10pm, then drive 1 hour 10 mins back.) Oh, and work the next day. Like I said, crazy. But a whole lot of fun. Mamma Mia! was like a 2.5 hour party onstage.

There was an ongoing journey with healing, grief, and the craving to know God in more infinite and deeper ways. A longing for His church and a caring community. 

By the end of 2022, I was at a bit of a loss. I loved my life and wanted to start from scratch all at the same time. How does one find balance? To continue working and growing, to pursue what you love and sets your soul on fire (in my case - singing, dancing, acting, theatre, music), to grow closer together with others, study the Bible with fellow believers, sing songs of praise and worship, move your body daily... and yet somehow still have time to potter around the kitchen late into the evening, with the soothing tones of Michael Bublé playing on Spotify, or tickle the ivories and make sure you don't lose a skill that was sorely obtained? 

I wanted to have time to just sit, and think, in my daily schedule. Cuddly our little baby bunny. Look at what my little sister made that day or watch what new sports trick my little brother could do.

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So I decided to drop my work hours. Nothing major, but it was an exciting milestone for me. After tossing it over in my head for a year, I finally sat down with my boss. I do love my work place, I love what I get to do, but I was not ready to commit even more of my life and energy and time to it. I now work four days a week, most of which I am in charge of a local head office (which makes me endlessly happy, mostly because I can choose the background music based on whatever mood I'm in). (I know, it's the little things.)

Some people would think I'm going backwards. That I'm crazy for not accepting a higher position in the company, or pursuing to climb the ladder. But that's not for me. Not at this point in my life, anyway. At the end of the day, the most precious commodity we have is time. And I knew if I looked back in twenty years, I would not regret taking care of myself, loving others well, and being happy and fulfilled with my life. On the other hand, I knew I would regret spending even more hours at work if it meant I was unhappy, burnt out, and empty (even if the numbers in my bank account were big and shiny).  

So here's to a fresh start. Here's to taking care of yourself, your body, your mind, and to taking care of others. Here's to living your life the best way you know how, regardless of the many voices telling you to do more. Here's to slowing down a little, so that you're ready when the fast days come. Here's to filling up the cup, so that you're not running on empty. And here's to you, wherever you are right now. If you've been running on empty for a long time like me, here's your invitation to slow down and know that you have a choice. You can rebuild your life if you have to. It doesn't need to be one huge decision (although it can be). It could just be a lot of small, baby steps, that lead you to a healthier version of yourself. I hope you value yourself enough to do that.

Until next time. Xx (Which I promise won't be in two years.)

New Year's Tag (2021)

Hi friends!

It's been a big year. And that's almost an understatement. Each year, since 2017, I have written out the New Years Tag that has made its way around the blogosphere for a long time, for my own personal enjoyment and interest. (It's so fascinating to look back from 5 years ago and compare your answers!)

taken by my little sister, at our last family holiday

Last year, I wrote it out, but almost didn't publish it, because my list felt so "unimpressive" and I was too sad about it. I'm sorry, now, to think of where I was at this time a year ago. And I'm sorry to know how much that girl would go through, and how oblivious she was to the hardships ahead, and how hopeful she was that it would be a perfectly happy year. 

But even though it wasn't easy, 2021 taught me to find beauty in the brokenness, and that is something I will be carrying with me into tomorrow and beyond. So, in the hopes that it may encourage anyone out there who has had a hard year also, and to give you a peep behind the curtains of my life, I will share with you the answers for this year, 2021. (For privacy reasons, I have edited out some names etc.) I have used photos that I took this year, to make it a bit more personal, but also be prepared for a complete photo dump of play photos. ;)

2021 Recap in Questions

What did you do in 2021 that you've never done before?

The obvious answer is be part of community theatre! That was a huge first, as was auditioning, and experiencing a two-show day. I also had my first gig (with my siblings!), sang in front of a paying audience, got a job "promotion", and took myself on a date and went to a friend's wedding by myself. (Hush, this was a big deal for me, guys.) Oh, and I went wake-boarding/tow-surfing!

from our wakeboarding trip

Did you keep your New Years Resolution and will you make a new one?

My resolution for 2021 was very vague, along the lines of "be more intentional with my time; set boundaries and make time for rest", so to some extent, yes? I certainly tried, especially the latter two, but it wasn't some shock transformation. Just baby steps.

My resolution for 2022 is to believe it to be and make it a good year, no matter what it looks like; to think of it as good even if it's not what I dreamed or planned. (If I had to pick a word for the year, it would be resilience.) Essentially, I want to take my joy and hope back that was stolen from me, and strive to be grateful and adaptive, fully trusting God's plan with my life.

I get to wear a cool headset at my job

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Depends on the definition of close, but my cousin had a baby, a close family friend, and two of my work colleagues had babies. And I found out my brother and sister-in-law are going to have a baby and I will be an aunty!!!!

Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, and though it was not my first taste of grief, it rocked me to the core. My dear friend, you will be sorely missed. I hope you know that. I'm sorry you were in so much pain. I'm so glad you are now at peace, with Jesus.

sometimes you have to pull over to take a photo of the sunset

What countries/states did you visit?

Thanks to C*vid, we were not able to venture outside of Queensland, although thankfully it is by no means a small state.

What would you like in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?

Less heartache and division. Peace of mind, freedom from restrictions and discriminations around a certain injection. A role in a musical. The ability to travel.

we each got little trophies with our name
and the role that we played

What date will remain etched upon your memory?

16.02.21 - the day I learned of my friend's suicide, and the day my dream of theatre came true and I got the lead role of Anne. 

11.06.21 - Opening night of Anne of Green Gables!

Our play in action! Was so happy I never fell on my face
on that darn staircase (came way too close)

Did you move house?

Hahaha. Haha. Ha. Ahem. Nope.

Which was the best month?

Perhaps January, because there was the least amount of pain. Otherwise June, when we got to perform our show and it was all just like a dream.

the stage is set

What was your biggest achievement?

Playing the lead role of Anne Shirley and not forgetting one of my 520 lines in any of the six performances! Also just not having a complete mental breakdown was an achievement, to be honest. (I came close at one point.)

What was your biggest failure?

Not being honest with people, and carrying my burdens alone. I made it a lot harder for myself than I could have. Also, selfishness. 

I recreated a photo shoot of my sister and 
her goat from several years ago

Did you experience any illness or injury?

Nothing more than a few colds, although I lost/nearly lost my voice several times. 

What was the best thing you bought?

All the tickets to see shows! I am so glad I did, especially as I am not allowed to for the forseeable future. Also, my "warm-me-up" singing app haha - definitely got my money's worth! And my "Be the Light" yellow hoodie that I bought online which turned up to be extremely bright, and also my favourite.

a mic check for our play, ft. my yellow hoodie

Whose behaviour merited celebration?

*insert sarcastic remarks about Certain Politicians* I guess I'd say Luke and Tammy, our directors forthe play, for all their hard work, thoughtfulness and kindness. They're top-rate folks.

some of my favourite people

Whose behaviour made you appalled and distressed?

Basically any politician ever, but specifically a particularly powerful one from our state.

a photo I took of my older sister

Where did most of your money go?

Car stuff, tires, etc. Also tickets for shows, dance classes, singing lessons and hydro classes.

What did you get really, really excited about?!

BEING IN A PLAY! Let alone playing the title role! And all the incredible people who came to see it (they made me so happy). And the fact that we were sold-out for our second last show. Also, my brother and sister-in-law having a baby!! :)

some of the cast at our after-party from the play
(can you feel the energy in the room?!)

What was the best concert you went to?

Why, the gig my siblings and I did, of course! ;D Hehe. But in regards to shows, Pirates of Penzance at IMTC, West Side Story at QPAC, White Sheep of the Family with LRPA, and the 24 hr musical (which turned out to be Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)! Just all the shows!! And obviously, Anne of Green Gables. ;)

What is a song/album that reminds you of 2021?

The Anne of Green Gables soundtrack and the hymns my sister played on piano for the actual play - specifically a beautiful rendition she did of "How Firm a Foundation". It was played during the closing scene and had this glorious crescendo as I walked off and the lights dimmed. *happy sigh*

deep in rehearsal thought. Peep the cute dog

Are you happier or sadder? (Compared to last year)

Sadder, but learning to find the beauty from the brokenness.

Are you thinner or fatter?

My goodness, how presumptuous of you to ask. :P Neither more, nor less.

Are you richer or poorer?

Richer, but I care even less about money that I ever did.

when we went to Outback Spectacular!

What do you wish you had done more of?

Taken more photos, especially ones of me with the people I love. (I have this terrible hesitation in taking any kind of selfie/groupie, and then regret not taking any photos.) 

I wish I'd had more open, honest conversations, and I wish I had prayed more.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Social media + screen time, pretending everything was OK when it wasn't, and trying to MAKE things happen.

cute lil' instruments

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Josh Garrels, Carrie Underwood's album of hymns ("My Saviour"), Mamma Mia musical soundtracks... I listened to a lot of Michael Buble, Sleeping at Last and Ben Platt this past year... all the soothing voices...

my poor little boots; they served me well

How did you spend your Christmas?

Well, I was sick, so all our guests decided not to come over. We had our family of seven open presents at home, eat lots of good food, and play games together. Small, intimate, sweet.

How did you spend New Years?

Obviously, it's not yet New Years, but I'm planning on spending it at a friend's house, playing games and eating pizza with a whole bunch of other people. However, I'm still trying to shake a cold, so if it's not gone by then, I guess I'll be spending it on the couch watching a movie, and ringing in the new year with a half-hearted 'hooray!' to myself. ;)

SUCH an epic photo that a friend took.
Can you guess which one is me?

Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

You know what's ridiculous? I was going to say "I hardly called anyone!" and then I remembered what I do for a day job. *face palm* I would have called hundreds of patients, and let me tell you, it is most fascinating (and often amusing) speaking to so many people from the general public over the phone, and getting snippets of their life. I've also heard the world's strangest voicebank messages.

What was the best book you read?

"Godspace" by Doug Pollock, "Cold Tangerines" by Shauna Niequist, and "4.50 from Paddington" by Agatha Christie, not counting some fabulous re-reads.

my happy place

Did you fall in love?

No... but affection did grow for someone, and a lot of prayers were said regarding that person. ;)

a part of rehearsals you don't know about ;)

What was your favourite TV show?

Didn't watch many, but can I just say we finished "White Collar" after spending 2-3 years trying to find nights when both my sisters AND I didn't have to go to bed early so we could watch an episode?! We did it! We finished it! And I was almost sad. :P Otherwise, "Cranford" (a mini-series?), "Lego Masters", "The Voice Australia" and "The Chosen" (though I have not watched much of the latter).

why would you watch a screen when you can watch this?!

What did you want and get?

The opportunity to be part of a theatre production (other than my own)! Real-life friends who like theatre! (To all my blogging friends who do too, I love you! 😘) A church that feels like it could be home. And to see lots of shows/musicals live!

our well-loved stage <3

What did you want and not get?

To travel. Also, to be in a musical. Flexibility. To see "In the Heights" in cinemas. A flawless mix and belt. (Hahaha, like that was gonna happen.)

our second wig fit. It was so itchy! :P

What was your favourite film? 

"Dune", "Dear Evan Hansen" (I BAWLED MY EYES OUT GUYS), "Hacksaw Ridge", "I Still Believe" and "Knives Out". 

What did you do for your birthday and how old were you?

I was sick (BOO) so for my 21st birthday I stayed home. I opened presents, played games with my family, watched the new "Rebecca" movie (my verdict? Read the book) and old videos of me as a baby/toddler. I postponed a picnic beside a dam (which sounds dreadful but imagine a really pretty lake) with friends and family, which will now hopefully take place in January.

why do I look like I'm checking my pulse? :P

Describe your personal fashion concept?

Comfortable, clean and cute. (Lame, I know. Well, it's a lame question. So there.)

What kept you sane?

Oh, but am I?? 

God, first and foremost. 

Journaling. 

Music. 

Prayer. 

The belief that my life is not about me.

backstage, between shows

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ehh, not head over heels about anyone. But if I must... Timothee Chalamet is someone I could look at for a long time. :P Also Tom Holland. He's cute.

Which political issue stirred you the most?

The laws barring, shunning and discriminating against those who choose not to get injected, and legalizing euthanasia. There have been so many laws and bills passed that made me want to become a politician and fight tooth and nail.

waiting for rehearsals to start
(told you I liked that hoodie)

Who did you miss?

My friend who I lost. So much. Also my cousins who moved to Sydney last year after they were married, and have not been allowed to return. *hugs*

Who was the best person you met?

Goodness! Lots of theatre people, and work colleagues, and random people I met at dance or hydro classes etc. I genuinely think you can learn something from everyone though, and I value each person who crosses paths with me. 

rehearsing the school scene!

What was a valuable life lesson you learnt in 2021?

Yikes. How long do you want to sit here for? Well, to keep it short, let's say I learnt that every day, you make a lot of small decisions that build up over time; so be careful of what you let into your heart, even if it slowly creeps in. And if you want God to be first in your life, then LIVE like He is first in your life. I learnt you can never please everyone, so don't even try, and don't apologize for something that was never your fault or responsibility to begin with. And I also learnt (and am still learning), that mental health is just as important as your physical health. (All of you needs care and support. <3)

Quote a song lyrics that sums up your year?

"God knows what He's doing

Even when you've lost all focus

He's not done proving that you were made with purpose

He's got something up His sleeve

Beyond your wildest dreams

God knows what He's doing

In you."

(From "God Knows" by Cody Johns. Probably my most played song of the year.)

another new thing - I got highlights in my hair!

What were 5 personally significant events of 2021?

1. Losing my friend to depression. That rocked my world and made me re-think so much about my life.
2. Auditioning + getting the role of Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables! No one will ever know just how much that meant to me. It was a dream come true, the most precious prayer made reality, and everything I'd ever hoped for. It was confidence itself.
3. Performing each and every show - each one was a treasure. The rush of applause, the after-party cast hugs behind the curtain, the accolades from family, friends and strangers alike. The little girls that gazed at me in AWE and the few whose mothers asked for a photo with me and them, and who clung to my skirt, holding their breath and sucking their hands. Tammy (my director), whispering in an embrace, "You will always be my Anne." 
4. Getting a "promotion" at work (my receptionist job). My boss sitting me down, saying he felt as though they were 'holding me back' and giving me some tasks with marketing and editing. Choosing to go part-time with this new role and responsibility, and quitting my first job at the café. 
5. Our first family gig! We got to do a two hour set at the Mama Creek Drought Relief concert as the sole entertainment, to a paying audience! It was quite a small audience, but some of our friends and family came out, some driving a long way, and it was so special. <3

our gig night! Ft. our fantastic friend on the double bass

What are 5 things you want to do in 2022?

If C*vid wasn't a thing, this list could be so different...

1. Be part of a musical
2. Write my own musical - or at least make progress on it
3. Learn jazz dance, modern jive and continue with my tap. Also, gain more control with my belting technique
4. Work up to doing the splits (scissors, specifically)
5. Buy a DSLR camera and learn how to use it well

(And if our freedoms were restored, there would certainly be some travel popped on that list as well. But if I can truly wake up each day and tell you why I am on this planet, then that's enough for me.)

my other older sis, looking particularly cool

Who are some people that you'd like to know better in 2022?

Obviously, this is quite a personal question. I'd like to know the man that will someday be my husband, if he is out there. (And no, I do not know who.) I would like to better know certain people that I met through theatre, and some of my work colleagues.

And I want to fall in love with my heavenly Father even more, more than I ever have before.

We have reached the end, my friends. :) Did any of this surprise you? I'd love to see your answers. If anything, tell me, what is one thing you're taking away from 2021, and moving forward with into 2022?

My love to you all, and may we continue forth in hope and courage, trusting He Who holds the future. 

Currently: DEC 2021 Edition

Hi Friends! 

It's been awhile. I was having to work extra hours for work, filling in for some people, and then I went away for a 10 day beach holiday with my family which was wonderful (although it rained most of the time *sigh*). Life doesn't stop. There has also been some other stressors and difficulties that have arisen in my personal life, and I've been having to take time to come to terms with them, and deal with it. 

All that to say, I will be getting some time off work (nearly two weeks?) over Christmas, and blogging is one thing I am hoping I can return to during this time. I have a stack of half finished posts in my drafts that I am excited about, and hope to get out to you shortly. In the meantime, here is a little life update of where I've been at lately, in bullet form because that's always fun. ;)

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Reading:

• "With Every Letter" by Sarah Sundin - I have just finished this one, and did really enjoy it! I rarely read that genre, but it was quite well done, and a sweet story. I'm a sucker for war romance stories, anyhow.
• "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan - this was a re-read for me. I read it a couple years ago and really grappled with what I thought. It's a challenging read - I don't agree with all of it, but it's a good thought-provoker. 
• "Alternative Shakespeare Auditions for Women" by Simon Dunmore - this is mostly just to educate myself more for auditions and theatre in the future. ;) I've already bookmarked some particularly good ones, and rather enjoy whispering them out loud dramatically.
• "On The Way Home" by Olivia Gwyn - this is a poetry collection book by a dear fellow blogger, Olivia! I purchased it off Amazon and I'm so eager for it. I've already read a third and can't put it down.

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Watching:

• Bleak House - this is the miniseries that BBC did years ago. It's a re-watch for me. The show is a little slow-moving (and so looong) but hey, that's Dickens. ;) Esther is such a dear.
• White Collar - it took us 2 FLIPPIN' YEARS to finish re-watching this darling series! My two older sisters and I have had such contrasting work shifts we struggled so much to find a night when we were all home and not having to go to bed early for work. But we finished it, and now I'm sad haha. xD
• Dune (2021) - saw this one in the cinema last weekend! It was actually really good! I knew absolutely nothing about the story - I hadn't even seen the whole trailer - but went with a group of friends. I was blown away by Timothee Chalamet's acting and let's just say I am now kinda obsessed with him.

STOP IT GUYS
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Listening to:

• Christmas music! - Duh. I posted on Instagram a couple of months ago asking for some recommendations and got some fantastic ideas from my fabulous friends. I purchased Josh Garrel's "The Light Came Down" album and Pentatonix's "The Best of Pentatonix Christmas", as a result. Also enjoying all Sleeping at Last's Christmas songs.
• Sunday in the Park with George - I listened to the entire soundtrack (and when I say listen to - I have to sit down and intentionally think through it all as I listen, so it's often a big deal haha). Very fascinating. Clever, clever music. I love admiring other people's creativity.
• Podcasts - always, all the podcasts. Particularly digging any and all "Whoa! That's Good" episodes. So encouraging and uplifting. I always come away with some things to chew on.

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Singing:

• Songs for a gig! - well, that has just passed, actually, but for a solid 6 weeks we were madly preparing for a 2 hour show with 2 setlists of our own choosing. 4 of my siblings (and myself) along with 1 of our friends formed the band, and we played a mixture of country, Bluegrass, gospel, blues, pop arrangements etc. A nice variety. I had 3 solos and multiple group songs. It was a great experience!
• I'll Stay by Riley Clemmons - this is a song I've been working on with my singing teacher and ugghhh, it's one of the hardest I've ever done. I've been playing around with different sounds using my voice, and specifically working on a controlled belt and this song has almost conquered me. xD But I'm so determined I shall get that belt downpat, some day.
• Solveig's Song - another song I'm working on with my singing teacher, on the completely opposite end of the spectrum haha. The timing has been very challenging for me, but it shall not defeat me. ;)

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Writing:

• Editing for work - I've been blessed with the opportunity to do some other tasks and responsibilities at my receptionist job. Now, alongside admin work, I'm also doing marketing and editing/proofreading for the company, and oh my goodness, I love it so much! Who knew editing could be so much fun.
• Journaling - always and forever. Journaling, bullet journaling... all the journaling.
• Blog posts - Well, hopefully. :D

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Appreciating: 

• Spring/summer rain! - Seriously, we haven't had such a wet spring for years and years! Flooding has even occurred and it's not even JANUARY yet, guys. Crazy. But I love the green outside and the storms that have been rolling in... even if that means I can't go the hydro classes I signed up for. *frowns*
• Coffee. So much. - Yeah, my coffee intake has really skyrocketed in the past 3 months. I think it coincidentally collided with when we were rehearsing for our gig multiple weeknights on top of my working the two jobs and doing everything else I normally do on top. That might be it. And now I just have it 'cause it's nice. ;D

Okay, I'm not quite up to Lorelei's intake yet ;)

• Quiet moments - they are few and far between, but I'm trying to be more intentional in making time to just be still, even if it's just a few minutes every day. It might sound silly, but I really struggle with this. I'm always go, go, go to the next thing, and run around with a mental to-do list in my head 24/7, but sometimes, it's important to rest, and breathe and speak a few words to God in the stillness. Especially outside, when the sun is setting.

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Struggling with:

• Single wings/kickback tap dance steps - so I'm ridiculous enough to be learning an intermediate/advance tap dance routine (but it's so fun, and it's a routine for Another Day of Sun from La La Land so how can you not?!). Within this routine are complex steps such as single wings and kickbacks etc. I was definitely NOT taught those in my beginner tap class, so I've watched countless YouTube tutorials on how to do them and some of them say it takes 2 years to get some of those steps and I'm like "heck no! I don't have time for that!" xD
• Saying no - Yeah, that's no secret. I suck at saying no, I also suck at making decisions. I'm not mature enough for this, guys.
• All the political drama etc happening right now - without going into further details, the current situation in Australia regarding a certain virus and restrictions that have happened, with lockdowns and societal exclusions... it's all just an absolute massive headache. And it's so political it's almost funny. But so infuriating. Australia is not in a good state right now and I've never seen it more divided. I don't think I've ever been more concerned about the future. It changes from week to week, and people are losing their livelihoods and freedoms and houses. It's awful.

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Learning:

• To choose a few things and do them well - ohh boy, that's a big one. As Jordan Lee Dooley often states, it's so important to steward your time, your resources and your energy well. And I've been very reckless about that. I want to do all the things, all at once. But I'm learning how valuable it is to cut down on a few good things, in order to make the most of what you DO have, and not give half-heartedly to everything. An example of that is, I will be quitting my cafe job at the end of the year (such a hard, sad decision :() and going part-time with my reception job next year, so I'm no longer exhausted trying to juggle two jobs.
• It's OK to not be OK, but it's not OK to not tell anyone - yeah, a bit of a mouthful. But true. This year has been one of the hardest - if not THE hardest - years I've ever experienced. And there have been many times where I wasn't OK, but found it hard to tell someone. And yet, when I do, everything becomes so much easier. And I wished I'd told them sooner. So to anyone out there who is finding life a bit too rough at the moment, this is your nudge to tell a trusted friend or family member, and reach out for some help and support. I PROMISE you won't regret it.
• You can't expect to progress if you're not prepared to commit and practice consistently - ain't that the truth. I'm a big achiever, but I'm also guilty of cutting corners to achieve things faster and perhaps less thoroughly, so I can get on to the next thing (especially when it comes to my hobbies). But that kind of defeats the point. So I guess this goes hand in hand with what I said about stewarding things well - carefully choose what you want to invest in, and steward it well, committing to doing it to the best of your ability, and consistently. 

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I could probably continue, but that will suffice for now. I've been keeping busy with work and singing and hydro classes and allll the Christmas parties and events hehe. On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you for Christmas right now? I think I'm about an 8, but it's inching higher with every day. Now I'm off to go wrap some Christmas presents! 

Let me know in the comments how you all are doing, and what's been keeping you busy!