How God Uses Even Us

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Once I had two friends (at separate times, but within the space of a year), who were both dear girls, diagnosed with some form of eating disorder. It was a difficult time for them, and an anxious time for me. Both were very unwell – one had to take frequent trips to the hospital for months, and the other had to visit multiple doctors a week. It was during this time that I prayed to God, asking Him to show me what I could do. I didn’t get to see either one of those girls very often, and felt as though I was utterly powerless to do anything to help them. The only thing I could think of doing was sending them notes or letters. So I did.

I knew that they would have many other people in their lives helping them with other areas, and that it wasn’t my task to guide them towards a healthier mindset and approach. They didn't need that from me as well. God told me what they needed. They needed tender love and support.

So on occasion I would write, just letting them know that I was there for them, to be a support and encouragement, and that I loved them and God loved them. Because it was true! I genuinely wanted the best for those girls and I ached to help them more, but I could not. All I could do was send them a reminder from time to time that they were loved and I had their back.

And you know what?

That was all I needed to do. God knew that was what they needed from me, and He enabled me to do just that.

Today, both those girls are much happier and healthier and I’m so proud of them. It was a hard time for them, and I’m sure they both came out stronger for it. And I came out of it knowing something I hadn’t known before; that God knows what my friends need better than I do. I was so frustrated during those waiting seasons, because I wanted to be a friend who would come over and hold their hand, watch movies together, laugh together, cry together, and be very present with them. But I was not in the circumstance to be able to do that. At first I thought that if I couldn't do that, then I couldn't help them at all. Tenderly, God reminded me that being a good friend doesn't always mean being at the forefront, physically being there for them and sitting beside them in every recovery picture they had. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is be the person in the background, rallying behind our friends in prayer, cheering them on in spirit, and sending messages of encouragement and support when they need it most.

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Both those girls wrote to me, during and after recovery, saying that they had been so encouraged by my support and constant love and care through it all. They said those small words of encouragement helped them through it and made a big difference to them. And I’m not trying to say that as though I’m the model friend and you should all praise me – PLEASE don’t take it that way! – because it wasn’t me, it was Jesus. I just did what the Holy Spirit prompted me to do. I told them the truth that they needed to hear. I reminded them that God was whispering words of love into their ear, if they could only hear it.

God is marvellous in answering our prayers. He hardly ever answers them directly, but He does in a round-about way that is far better. When I asked Him to let me help my friends, I was expecting Him to bring an opportunity forward where I could go visit them or help care for them in some obvious way. But no, I had only a pen and paper. Yet that was all I needed. God gave me everything, because He knew what both myself and my friends did and didn’t need. 

Friends, don't underestimate the power of your words; remember that you can choose to speak life or speak death. Choose life.

Don't underestimate what God can do through you, even if you feel helpless and not enough; even if your circumstance is less than ideal. He is enough.

Don't underestimate the wisdom and kindness of God, and how He can use even us, in both big ways and little ways. He knows best. 

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And dear soul, don't doubt your worth or your value because you aren't being praised by multitudes of people and you feel insignificant; it is the humblest lives that give forth the most kindness. <3

Rainy Day Aesthetics

Today it is raining, folks. After years of droughts, it's always a thrilling big deal when it rains, especially when it pours and then drizzles for an entire day. What richness!

Rain often brings forth the poetry out of me, so here is a quick little post, detailing aaaall the rainy day aesthetics that I love.

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• Shadows. But not gloomy shadows - poetic shadows, that make you want to curl up in a corner with a book and snuggle under a fluffy blanket

• Moody, mellow lighting, with a yellow tint 

• Pages sticking together in books because of the moisture in the air

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• Watching the rain droplets splash into the bird baths and ricochet off the ground

• Staring out at the misty, hazy fields and letting your brain wander, peacefully, tranquilly

• The unapologetic popularity of naps at any time

• The excited merriness of crickets and birds high above, chirping

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• Cups chinking and teaspoons rattling as people step out of the kitchen with yet another warm beverage steaming in their hands

• Creativity abounding. Someone writing a story, someone finishing a puzzle, someone creating wonderful scents while lazily cooking in the kitchen

• The overwhelming urge to let out a deep sigh and relax your shoulders, drinking in the fresh air

• Cozy jumpers and ugly, baggy tracksuit pants that feel like a hug

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• Candles, their bright flames wavering in the restless air

• A television murmuring in the distance, and music playing in the room beside you, all swept up in the undercurrent of the rain on the tin roof

• Watching the rain coax all the leaves off the branches, gracefully showering the ground with colours of autumn

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Hey friends!

So for something fun today, I thought I'd participate in the Sunshine Blogger Award. I mean, who doesn't need a little sunshine in their life, right? ;)

So, *ahem*, confession time; I wasn't exactly nominated for this. ;) I just took Eva up on her offer of free tag questions, so here we are! 

Ze rules:

- List the Award's official rules (I guess this makes it official! ;))

- Display the award somewhere on your blog (look up, chi-ild)

- Thank the person who nominated you (Thanks Eva ;))

- Provide a link to your nominator's blog (✓)

- Answer your nominator's questions (we're getting there!)

- Nominate up to 11 bloggers (you always have to break at least one rule, right? :P)

- Ask your nominees 11 questions (I will be providing these, at least!)

- Notify your nominees by commenting on at least one of their blogs (*awkward silence*)

1. What was the last book you read and what did you think of it?

I'm always reading a non-fiction book and fictional book, so there are two. I just finished "LIVE" by Sadie Robertson which I absolutely LOVED! 10/10 would recommend!! Super fun, inspiring, encouraging and just full of truth and wisdom. 

I also just finished "Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo.

I know I know, a round of applause for me, right? *bows*

I have mixed feelings. ;) Someone I know remarked that Victor Hugo didn't believe in editing, and I'm inclined to agree. It was a novel with a side of encyclopedia. So for once in my entire reading lifetime, I gave myself permission to... *grimace*... skim? However, aside from all the blah-de-blah, it really was an endearing novel and I really did love his in depth descriptions and the level of which he developed his characters and setting. The story made me cry and laugh, and that is good story telling, my friends. And also, that ending. I cried (well, duh) and actually felt inclined to begin the story all over again because I didn't want to leave the poor dears. So I guess that proves I loved it after all!

2. What was the last movie you watched and what did you think of it?

The last movie I watched would be Mission Impossible (#3, I think??). I'd seen scraps of it on TV every now and then but I sat down and joined my siblings in watching the full thing on Netflix. (Well, okay, I did miss the first 20 minutes or so, but I caught up. ;)) I was half asleep for all of it because I'd gotten up super early that day, but hey, if I was half asleep the whole time and never once fully fell asleep, then I think that shows it was an interesting movie. ;) It had a lot of action and mystery, but it wasn't without its cliches, gore and not-so-great moments. I'd watch it again.

3. Which fictional world would you least like to visit?

Without a doubt, the world of Panem in The Hunger Games. No siree, give me Narnia or Middle Earth or even the Star Wars galaxies, but I will pass on Panem any day.

4. Did anything historically interesting happen on your birth date?

Great question! I just looked it up. *sheepish grin* The most interesting thing I could find was that in 1949,  on the 27th December, Indonesia gained its independence from Holland after 400 years of Dutch rule. That's kind of cool!

5. What's your favourite historical era for movies/books? 

I still haven't decided, haha. It changes all the time. One era that always draws me in, though, is the very early 1900's, and the First and Second World Wars. 

Can we just appreciate the fashion of those days? I mean, hello, HATS.

6. Poems or prose?

Poems! But I adore both. I write my own poetry, but haven't dabbled too much in prose. 

7. What is the best (most accurate to the spirit and letter of) book-to-movie adaption you've seen?

The first one that comes to mind is Anne of Green Gables (1985). I love the books, and I loved that movie, also. It naturally can't go quite as in depth as the books can with limited time, but I really believe the film captures the spirit of the book very well. Megan Follows IS Anne, for me. And Jonathon Crombie's Gilbert Blythe. 😍

8. Who's your favourite YouTuber?

Ohh, Katie Gregoire (or should I say Katie Emmerson now?), without a doubt. That girl has SASS and SPUNK and WISDOM and her brain goes a million miles an hour and I love her for it. I wish she posted more!

I mean, that slogan! xD

9. Do you enjoy gardening?

Ehh, no. :P I was one of the few people who *didn't* start a vegetable or flower garden during quarantine. Yeah, sorry. I wish I was - it sounds so scrumptiously dainty and romantic. I can't even remember to water my succulent once a week. Oops.

10. Weird food combination you actually love?

See, this is the thing, I never know if something is weird until someone surprises me by disagreeing. :P Like, I love jam and cheese on a sandwich, but is that weird? Some people say yes, some people say no. *shrugs*

Oh, last year I tried a Mexican wrap that had fries inside it and I absolutely LOVED it. That was pretty weird. (For me, anyway. But just me eating takeaway food is weird, haha.)

11. What's your favourite movie streaming service?

I'm not actually a huge movie streamer. I prefer actual hard copy DVD's (I know, I know - OLD SCHOOL). I don't pay for any, so if something is on YouTube I get excited. ;) I'm not a huge fan of Netflix as I'm never impressed by their selections (they have bad taste for the most part :P) and Stan doesn't have heaps... and shockingly, I don't have Disney+. My favourite movie provider is my local library and our overflowing DVD shelves. :D

Okay, so I'm not tagging anyone in particular, but if you would like to do it, by all means, fill out the tag! Let me know if you do. :D I''ll think up some new questions...

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1. What was your latest musical discovery?

2. What is a song that has been really Speaking to you lately?

3. Is there one TV show you've seen that gets better the further along you go?

4. What is your middle name?

5. If you were to change your name, what would you choose?

6. If you could do one new thing in 2020, what would it be?

7. If you could take any kind of dance class, what would you choose?

8. Have you ever climbed a mountain?

9. What is the largest book you've ever read?

10. What are your thoughts on social media? 

11. If you could change one thing that's trending right now, what would it be and what would you change it to?

Don't forget to go out and get some sunshine, people! ;)

Why Do We Make It So Complicated?

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Last week, I visited a person I've known a long time. As I listened to her speak, I studied her face, and it reminded me of something. 

When I first met this lady, she actually frightened me a little. I was young at the time, and she was more of a rough type than I was used to. She said exactly what she thought and if she didn't like something, you knew it. Her face was not harsh, but it was not a motherly kind of face like I was used to. She often smelt of cigarette smoke. I shied away from her.

To me, her face was scary and her person was one I didn't want to get to know. I intended to keep my safe distance.

Fast-forward many years, and now I see this lady regularly. And only last week, did I stop to think of how my perception of her has changed so drastically.

Her face was no longer intimidating (perhaps also because I did not have to crane my neck to look at her anymore) and I was at ease beside her. When I listened to her speak, her chattering was endearing, and her face soft and tender with age. 

And I knew that over the past ten years, the person who had changed more was not her, but I. When I understood this, I realized that the same face which I had thought scary years before, was now kind and beautiful to me, because I had come to know the person behind it. 

And I thought, how often do I do that in life.

I look at someone, and decide they are too intimidating, too frightening, too rough. I decide I cannot talk to them and could never get to know them because they are just not "my type". And the knowledge that in one glance I have the presumption and self-righteousness to think I can sum up one person's soul is so convicting for me.

For too long, I have looked at people with glasses made of the world's standards, silhouetted with my own judgement, and decided if I would accept them or not. But the more I come to know God's heart, the more I realize that couldn't be further from the way God looks at them, the way He looks at us, the way He looks at me.

Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. Too many times, Gabby has looked at the outside, and failed to look at the heart. And now I stand convicted.

I do not want to judge someone with a glance any longer. I do not want to make a prejudice against someone and never give them room to show me otherwise. I do not want to choose who I will get to know merely based on outward appearances and perceptions.

Oh Father, please, help me to see people the same way you would have me see them; the same way YOU see them. Father, give me the heart to never write someone off, but to extend grace and acceptance. If I ever misjudge a person, let me know them on a deeper level and show me my ignorance and pride.

May I take the words of Billy Graham to heart, and live them out knowing,

"It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge, and my job to love."

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You have given us a simple commandment - that we would love one another. Why do we make it so complicated?